Perfectionism and Giftedness

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Perfectionism and Giftedness

• Session Presented by
• Debra A. Troxclair, Ph.D.
• At the 22nd SENG Conference July 2005
• Albuquerque, NM

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What is perfectionism?

• Webster
• having a disposition to regard anything short of
  perfection as unacceptable and a perfectionist as
  one that demands or works to achieve perfection
• Clark
• a component of self esteem which can become a
  compulsive behavior
• Roeper
• a personality trait and a perfectionist is a
  person who does not give himself permission to
  fail anything undertaken, especially when its
  within his field of competency

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What is perfectionism?

• Roedel
• a developmental vulnerability of gifted
  individuals, an inner drive to accomplish tasks
  coupled with unrealistic expectations of ability
  and results in completed projects being assaulted
  by the inherent, well-developed critical thinking
  skills of gifted individuals
• Adderholdt-Elliott
• perfectionism is due to social learning that
  occurs during childhood and produces a drive
  which results I worry, guilt, and workaholic
  behavior

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And Giftedness

• Large accumulation of information about emotions
  that has not been brought to awareness
• Unusual sensitivity to the expectations and
  feelings of others
• Keen sense of humormay be gentle or hostile
• Heightened self-awareness, accompanied by a
  feeling of being different

• Earlier development of an inner locus of control
  and satisfaction
• Unusual emotional depth and intensity
• High expectations of self and others, often
  leading to high levels of frustration with self,
  others, and situations PERFECTIONISM
• Strong need for consistency between abstract
  values and personal actions
• Advanced levels of moral judgment

• Clark (1998)
• Differential Affective (Feeling) Characteristics
  of the Gifted

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An affective trait.

• High expectations of self and others, often
  leading to high levels of frustration with self,
  others, and situations PERFECTIONISM

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Problem resulting from this trait

• Discouragement and frustration from high levels
  of self-criticism
• has problems maintaining good interpersonal
  relations as others fail to maintain high
  standards imposed by gifted individual
• immobilization of action due to high levels of
  frustration resulting from situations that do not
  meet expectations of excellence

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What is needed

• To learn how to set realistic goals and to accept
  setbacks as part of the learning process,
• To hear others express their growth in acceptance
  of self

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How does perfectionism develop?

• Eriksson's Stages of Personality Development
• Roepers Personality Trait
• Roedells Developmental Vulnerabilities

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How does perfectionism develop?

• Eriksson's Stages of Personality Development
• Stage 1Trust vs. Mistrust
• Stage 2 Autonomy vs. Shame
• Stage 3Initiative vs. Guilt

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Stage 1 Trust vs. Mistrust

• Consistent security ? Worth Importance ?
  Development of Inner Locus of Control
• Or
• Inconsistent nurturing and Insecurity ? Lack of
  Control over Environment ? Development of Outer
  Locus of Control

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Add perfectionism

• To outer locus of control ? Inefficiency
• To inner locus of control ? Productivity

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Stage 2 Autonomy vs. Shame

• Limitations
• Overprotection
• Use of no
• No freedom to explore
• And/or
• Criticism
• Re-doing tasks done imperfectly by child
• Relentless teasing
• And/or

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• Inappropriate Punishment
• ..Punishment without much
• positive verbalization ?
• Shame
• Inadequacy
• Self-doubt
• Low self-esteem
• (all of the above.some of the above)
• PRODUCES

GUILT
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• Add giftedness
• inherent well-developed analytical thinking
  ability.
• .Combined with perfectionism modeled by parents,
  teachers, our culture ? Overabundance of
  self-criticism ?

Perfectionism
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Stage 3 Initiative vs. Guilt

• Criticism or punishment for initiating activities
  on their own ? Guilt when experiencing or
  desiring self-imitated activities
• Perfectionism and guilt when initiating
  activities ? Reduced risk-taking behavior and/or
  reduced tolerance of faults/mistakes of others

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Roepers Personality Trait

• Perfectionism is created when
• High cognitive abilities enable a child to do
  things with a high degree of excellence
• Omnipotence leads a child to believe that he/she
  can do all tings, and
• Premature superego development makes the child
  feel he is duty bound to do all things.

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High cognitive abilities

• High cognitive abilities ? early understanding of
  many concepts
• Early age ? misinterpretation/overgeneralization
  of ability in all situations ? development of
  great expectations

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Omnipotence

• Results from ability to grasp ideas readily.
• Trial and error learning does not occur. A gifted
  child does not experience the sequence of try,
  stumble, get up, dust yourself off, try again.
• Instead
• A gifted child learns by try, succeed, try,
  succeed and does not gain the coping skills of
  the more average learner gt development of great
  expectations of self and others

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Premature superego development

• Normal superego development occurs around age
  four or five
• Premature superego development (prior to age 4)
  occurs due to gifted childs greater awareness,
  sensitivity, and because he goes through
  developmental stages faster
• Earlier identification with parental
  personalities ? early moral development
• Early moral development? incorrect affirmation of
  a moral responsibility to master all experiences
  quickly, adeptly, and easily ? creates a burden
  to succeed in all endeavors

Perfectly!
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Roedells Developmental Vulnerabilities

• Positive aspects of perfectionism
• Perfectionism assists in achievement of tasks
• Which require attention to detail,
• commitment
• Persistence (such as is required in Science and
  in the Arts)
• Negative Aspects of perfectionism
• Reduction of CREATIVE OUTPUT

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Mastery Orientation

• A child with mastery orientation sees success as
  due to stable factors such as ability AND failure
  due to unstable factors such as luck and/or
  degree of effort
• Failure Opportunity to Modify problem-solving
  strategy
• Add Perfectionism to mastery orientation ? High
  levels of creative output

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Helpless Orientation

• A child with a helpless orientation sees failure
  due to lack of ability AND success due to
  unstable factors such as effort or luck.
• Failure underlying lack of ability? analyzing
  the reasons for failure ? child gives up
• Add perfectionism ? lowered self-concept ?
  reduction in problem-solving ability

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Adderholdt-Elliotts Perfectionistic Behaviors

• Mood Swinging
• The Numbers Game
• Telescopic Thinking
• Focus on the Future
• Pine over the Past
• Put Goals First
• Getting it Right
• All-or-nothing thinking
• PROCRASTINATION

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PROCRASTINATION

• Results from fear of
• Failure
• Success
• Control
• Separation
• Attachment

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PROCRASTINATION

• Results in
• Test anxiety
• Writers block
• Paralysis

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9 Kinds of Perfectionism

• Arrogance The fear of being vulnerable
• Self-deprecation The fear of being inferior
• Image vanity A poor body image
• Stubbornness The fear of change
• Martyrdom The fear of unworthiness
• Impatience The fear of missing something
• Righteousness The fear of being wrong
• Greed-envy The fear of lack
• Self-destruction The fear of losing control

Curnan, C. (1999). The care and feeing of
perfectionists. Georgetown, MA North Star
Publications.
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The Dirty Dozen Beliefs Upon Which Perfectionism
is Based

• Perfectionism is the ultimate goal.
• Human worth is judged in terms of performance and
  accomplishment.
• Motivation to achieve arises out of the feeling
  that nothing is all right as it iseverything
  must be transformed into what it should be.
• If imperfections are accepted as they are, the
  highest standards or values have been abandoned.

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• We are morally obligated to judge ourselves and
  others and to insist upon accuracy and
  correctness.
• Demanding perfectionand dictatorially imposing
  those expectations on othersis a right.
• Thinking must have a practical goal and a higher
  purpose or it is a waste of time.

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• Acting for enjoyment alone is neither noble or
  praiseworthy. Recreation, unless it has a purpose
  (such as health maintenance or competitive
  excellence), is frivolous self-indulgence.
• Self-esteem derived from others assessment is
  surpassed only by the self-esteem that comes from
  being RIGHT.
• If in the right, do not compromise compromise
  exhibits weakness of character.

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• Stand with firm resolve and dedication to ones
  principles, no matter the circumstances without
  strict adherence to principles there is no
  integrity
• It is natural to worry about the uncertainty of
  the future loss of full control over ones life
  causes great insecurity.

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When Combating PerfectionismTeach your child

• it is okay to make mistakes especially when you
  are learning something new. Help your child learn
  how to turn mistakes into lessons and
  opportunities rather than regrets

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When Combating PerfectionismTeach your child

• how to say, Oh well! when things dont go
  exactly the way he or she would like them to or
  think that they should. The experience will still
  sting, but by saying these words when something
  doesnt work out perfectly, some of the sense of
  failure will go away, which will help reduce
  emotional festering.

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When Combating PerfectionismTeach your child

• how to replace the words should, ought, must
  have to with it would be nice, I might, or I
  could do so if I chose
• that his or her good enough is usually more than
  okay, that doing his or her best is more
  important than doing it perfectly

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When Combating PerfectionismTeach your child

• .that life isnt always fair by presenting
  examples in your life in which you had to cope
  with unfairness. When an unfair situation arises,
  help your child remind himself or herself out
  loud that life isnt always fair.

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When Combating PerfectionismTeach your child

• applying the phrase, Just do it! helps a
  procrastinator get started sometimes. It doesnt
  always help, but it does sometimes, and that is
  good enough.
• that even though he or she learns things quickly
  and quite well, he or she is only human and that
  is good enough. In fact, it is the best he or she
  will ever do on this planet.

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When Combating PerfectionismTeach your child

• that everyday brings a fresh start. The past is
  history and a lesson, not a regret. The future
  isnt here yet. The goal is to do the best you
  can today.
• to be as perfect as he or she wants to be in one
  area of his or her life, school subject, hobby,
  etc.while simultaneously teaching him or her to
  lighten up and help them see the funny side of
  life every day.

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When Combating PerfectionismTeach your child

• .finally.help your children understand that
  perfectionist thought patterns are thinking
  habits that just didnt pop up overnight. In
  fact, tell him or her that once he or she learns
  about perfectionist thinking, it will seem like
  they are engaging in those thought patterns even
  more. That is the way it is supposed to be and
  thats okay. Awareness is the first step in
  changing a behavior.

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In Conclusion

• Be aware of your own levels of perfectionism and
  how cultural perfectionism impacts our lives so
  that you can be a better role model to the gifted
  perfectionists in your life
• Learn together with your perfectionist how to
  develop better ways of dealing with obstacles in
  life

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• OH
• WELL