The College Application Essay

1
The College Application Essay

• Presented by
• Chris McGovern Bater
• Class of 1980

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
2
Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
3
Anatomy of a College Application

• Personal Data
• Grades
• Scores (SAT, ACT, APs, SAT IIs)
• Raves
• Teacher Recommendations
• Extracurricular, Personal Volunteer Activities
  and Work Experience
• Short Answer
• Essay
• Supplemental Applications

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
4
Anatomy of a College Application

• How to showcase YOU.
• Gather all of your information.
• Determine the best way to present it.
• The College Application is a package.
• You dont want your essay to repeat or conflict
  with other pieces of the application.
• Fewer and fewer colleges offer the chance to
  interview.
• This may be your only chance to deliver your
  personal message.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
5
The Essay

• 500 words to personally introduce yourself to the
  college of your choice.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
6
The Essay

• SELL yourself to the school.
• Help the Admissions Committee categorize you.
• Coming from Bronx Science, you are already
  categorized.
• Now tell them something that they dont already
  know about you.
• TELL YOUR STORY.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
7
The Essay

• What is more important?
• What you write?
• or
• How you write?

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
8
What is the Admissions Committee Looking for?

• Who are you and what is important to you as a
  person?
• How you grew as a person as a result of a
  specific situation?
• How you have grown in a position that you have
  held?
• How you have become the person you are now?

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
9
What is the Admissions Committee Looking for?

• Bryn Mawr College is very specific
• Demonstrate your ability to express your views
  clearly and rationally, to resolve intellectual
  problems and to make new discoveries,
• and
• Illustrate that you are a good match for Bryn
  Mawr by revealing your thoughts, attitudes,
  experiences, aspirations, and personal qualities.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
10
What is the Admissions Committee Looking for in
your Essay or Personal Statement?

• YOU
• WHY US?
• CREATIVITY

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
11
What is the Admissions Committee Looking for in
your Essay or Personal Statement?

• Buzz Words
• intellectual curiosity
• passion
• dedication
• commitment
• accomplishment
• leadership
• sense of humor

• sensitivity
• tolerance
• compassion
• integrity
• motivation

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
12
Why your choice of essay topic matters

• The college regards your choices as a way to
  evaluate your preferences, values, mental
  processes, creativity, sense of humor, and depth
  of knowledge. Your writing reflects your power of
  persuasion, organizational abilities, style, and
  mastery of standard written English.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
13
How to get started

• Review several complete application forms
• Prewriting Brainstorming
• focus on strengths of character and personality,
  NOT things that you have done
• Create a self-outline
• look for patterns and connections that help prove
  your point

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
14
The Essay

• Keep your focus narrow and personal.
• Your essay must prove a single point or thesis.
• The reader must be able to find your main idea
  and follow it from beginning to end.
• Essays that are to comprehensive may end up
  sounding watered down.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
15
The Essay

• Prove Your Point
• Develop your main idea with vivid and specific
  facts, events, quotations, examples, and reasons.
  There's a big difference between simply stating a
  point of view and letting an idea unfold in the
  details.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
16
The Essay

• Three basic styles of essays
• Standard Essay
• Take two or three points from your self-outline,
  give a paragraph to each, and make sure you
  provide plenty of evidence. Choose things not
  apparent from the rest of your application or
  "light up" some of the activities and experiences
  listed there.
• Less is More
• In this format, you focus on a single interesting
  point about yourself. It works well for brief
  essays of a paragraph or half a page.
• Narrative Essay
• tells a short and vivid story. Omit the
  introduction, write one or two narrative
  paragraphs that grab and engage the reader's
  attention, then explain what this little tale
  reveals about you.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
17
The Essay

• Tell a Story
• Employ elements of story-telling including
  action, sensory detail, even dialogue, to make
  your essay compelling.
• Remember that "action" can be physical or mental
  (your thought process).
• Use your true, unique voice to tell the story,
  not a flowery, inflated or pretentious style. If
  you are thorough and thoughtful in expressing the
  meaning in your experience, this will be
  impressive enough.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
18
The Essay

• Defend a Belief or Value
• Pay attention to the issues you follow in the
  news, discuss with your friends or write about in
  your journal. Once you've identified why this
  particular issue is important to you, ask
  yourself, "So what?" Then answer this underlying
  question with your essay, which also gives you an
  opportunity to reveal your maturity and
  perspective by demonstrating your connection to
  the larger world. Bonus you'll also show that
  you are ready to be an active participant in a
  diverse community, such as a college.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
19
The Essay

• Write a Character Portrait
• Reveal what aspects of character you value. Do
  pay attention to the difference between exterior
  and interior descriptions.
• Do remember that this character portrait is meant
  to reveal you not only who you are now, but who
  you will become as a result. You would do well,
  though, to show support or plan to support values
  in college. Is there a research project, program,
  application, or work of art that has personal
  meaning and that you intend to pursue?

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
20
The Essay

• WARNING!
• Don't try to strategize or "game" the application
  process.
• There is no way you can ever really know what
  "they" are looking for.
• JUST BE HONEST AND TRUE.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
21
The Essay

• The Topic
• should be personal to you
• dont be afraid to reveal your thoughts,
  feelings, and opinions
• The Tone
• find your natural voice for expressing these
  ideas

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
22
Consider Your Audience

• During admissions season, admissions officers
  read for six to eight hours per day. Processing
  up to 30 files per day.
• Your essay may only get 90 seconds of attention.
• MAKE IT COUNT!

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
23
Consider Your Audience

• Make the essay memorable.
• While the essay should be bold, it should also be
  tasteful.
• The best remembered essays are those that move us
  emotionally or strike a familiar chord.
• Admissions officers read hundreds of essays, so
  sameness is detrimental.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
24
Writing Tips from Stanford University

• Answer the question, understand the purpose of
  the essay, and consider your audience.
• Tell a story
• Tell a story only you can tell.
• Reflect on the meaning of the story.
• Write about the specific rather than the general.
• Don't insult your readers' intelligence by
  turning the essay into a resume in prose or by
  attempting to explain away some short coming.
• Avoid gimmicks of any kind.
• Don't exceed the suggested length.
• KEEP IT SIMPLE. Don't use "big" words just to
  use them. Construct short sentences.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
25
The Process

• Pique the reader's interest
• Hook them in.
• Tell the story. Be Specific.
• Sum it up.
• Leave them wanting more.
• Leave them wanting to meet YOU!

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
26
How to be a better writer?

• Be a better reader!
• Read well. Read good prose by good writers, and
  read carefully, looking not only for information,
  but for logic, structure, interesting turns of
  phrase, and anything else that makes the writing
  work. Read a variety of things, including
  British, American, and even Australian authors
  read The New Yorker and Harper's read the NY
  Times editorial page and compare the styles of
  the better columnists. Read literature,
  philosophy, and poetry read good scientific
  writers and non-fiction writers read The NY
  Review of Books and The Times Literary
  Supplement read the NY Times Magazines Lives
  essays. Enjoy reading good writing, even in
  popular genres, but balance it with enough
  challenging material.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
27
General Writing Tips

• Avoid clichéd topics
• Adventure travel
• Community Service
• how I helped save the world
• how the project made me feel lucky
• Dead relatives/pets
• How we/I won the game.
• Comparing a sport to the game of life
• My favorite coach

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
28
General Writing Tips

• Eliminate unnecessary adjectives and adverbs.
• Use sharp descriptions and spare dialog.
• Be personal, not impersonal.
• Put away the thesaurus.
• Don't attempt to tackle a topic that can't
  possibly be covered in 500 words.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
29
General Writing Tips

• Show, dont tell.
• Be as specific as you can when recounting events.
• Give the reader that "you are there" feeling.
• Be vivid.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
30
How to finish the Essay

• Draft
• Edit
• Let it cool.
• Feedback time.
• Edit down.
• Proofread, proofread, proofread!

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
31
Essay Checklist

• Is the essay interesting?
• Will it stand out because it shows who I really
  am?
• Is it about something important to me?
• Do I show how I think?
• Do I illustrate the issue, story or experience?
• Is my presentation neat, logical, and clearly
  stated?
• Are there good transitions between separate
  ideas?
• Did I make a conclusion rather than ending with a
  summary?

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
32
Sample Essay Topics

• Common Application Topics
• Evaluate a significant experience, achievement,
  risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have
  faced and its impact on you.
• Discuss some issue of personal, local, national,
  or international concern and its importance to
  you.
• Indicate a person who has had a significant
  influence on you, and describe that influence.
• Describe a character in fiction, a historical
  figure, or a creative work (as in art, music,
  science, etc.) that has had an influence on you,
  and explain that influence.
• A range of academic interests, personal
  perspectives, and life experiences adds much to
  the educational mix. Given your personal
  background, describe an experience that
  illustrates what you would bring to the diversity
  in a college community, or an encounter that
  demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.
• Topic of your choice.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
33
Sample Essay Topics

• NYU Supplemental Application
• If you were a member of the committee that was
  reviewing your application what is the single
  most important aspect of the application that you
  would emphasize in order to convince the rest of
  the committee to offer this candidate admission?
• Please tell us about something you did last
  Sunday afternoon (or the Sunday before that or
  the Sunday before that).
• Many students apply to NYU because of its NYC
  location. Other than location, please tell us
  why you feel that NYU is a good match for you.
• Please tell us what led you to select your
  anticipated academic program and what interest
  you most about the discipline.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program
34
Sample Essay Topics

• Princeton University Short Questions
• Your favorite book.
• Your favorite recording.
• Your favorite website.
• Your favorite source for inspiration.
• Two adjectives that your friends would use to
  describe you.
• Favorite word.
• Favorite keepsake or memento.
• Favorite movie.
• Using one of the quotes below (or your favorite
  quotation) as a jumping off point, tell us about
  an event or experience that helped you define one
  of your values.

Bronx HS of Science Alumni Mentor Program