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Responsible Parenting and Parenting Styles

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Responsible Parenting and Parenting Styles By Mrs. Tess Leones Bukal Life Care & Counseling Center Ephesians 6:4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to ... – PowerPoint PPT presentation

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Title: Responsible Parenting and Parenting Styles


1
Responsible Parenting and Parenting Styles
  • By Mrs. Tess Leones
  • Bukal Life Care Counseling Center

2
Ephesians 64
  • And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to
    wrath, but bring them up in the training and
    admonition of the Lord.
  • And you, fathers, do not irritate your children,
    but bring them up tenderly with true Christian
    training and advice

3
Proverbs 226
  • Train up a child in the way he should go,  and
    when he is old he will not depart from it.
  • Point your kids in the right direction--when
    theyre old they wont be lost

4
Children are Gods Gifts, and He says,
  • Bring Them Up In Nurture and Christian Discipline.

5
Nurture
  • Parental Warmth The degree to which parents are
    accepting, responsive, and compassionate with
    their children.

6
Parental Warmth Spectrum
  • ?-------------------------------------------------
    -----------------?
  • Parents high Parents who Parents who
  • In warmth show little show no
    warmth
  • warmth
    at all
  • HIGH WARMTH IS RECOMMENDED

7
Christian Discipline
  • Parental Control The degree to which parents set
    limits and enforce rules.

8
Parental Control Spectrum
  • ?-------------------------------------------------
    -----------------?
  • Parents with Moderate degree Very
    little
  • High degree of control or
    no control
  • of control
    at all
  • MODERATE DEGREE OF CONTROL IS RECOMMENDED

9
  • It has been found out that when parenting is high
    in warmth, children show better social and
    academic skills. They are loving, and respectful
    to their parents and other people.

10
  • Numerous studies have shown that children who
    received little or no warmth at all become more
    aggressive and perform poorly in school.

11
  • Likewise, children who were raised by parents
    with high degree of parental control, as well as
    low control, show depression, more prone to drug
    use and delinquency. Parents low in control are
    either lax, permissive, or uninvolved with their
    children.

12
Needs of Children
  • Children have needs. Sometimes they can be
    divided into lower needs and higher needs or
    physical and psychological needs.

13
Physical (Lower) Needs
  • A Few of these include
  • Food
  • Water
  • Clothes
  • Shelter

14
Higher (Psychological) Needs
  • Love
  • Esteem
  • Sense of Belonging
  • Independence
  • Communication

15
Love Languages
  • Children have different sensory access modes.
    Some auditory, others visual, others kinesthetic.
    Therefore, they have to be accessed through their
    preferred sense modality.

16
Love Languages
  • Dr. Chapman has identified 5 Love languages
  • 1. Physical touch
  • 2. Words of affirmation
  • 3. Quality time
  • 4. Gifts
  • 5. Acts of service

17
Communication
  • Good communication is both verbal and non-verbal
  • Communication should be two-way, not just one way
    (commander-in-chief or judge)
  • Should be reflective

18
Parenting Styles
  • Parents develop their own parenting style that is
    unique to their particular personality and their
    own beliefs about how children should be raised.
  • We are influenced by how we were raised
    (incorporating methods or doing the opposite).

19
  • Parenting styles have been found to predict a
    childs well-being in the area of social
    competence, academic performance and
    psycho-social development.

20
There are 4 Basic Parenting Styles
  • These styles are based on two elements
  • 1. Expression of Parental Warmth
  • (Love)
  • 2. Expression of Parental Control

21
4 Parenting Styles
  • Authoritarian Parents
  • Permissive Parents
  • Authoritative Parents
  • Rejecting/Neglecting Parents

22
Authoritarian Parents
  • Excessive Control
  • Minimal Warmth

23
Authoritarian Parents
  • highly demanding.
  • expect their orders to be followed without
    explanation.
  • no negotiation allowed
  • obedience centered (Commander-in-chief)
  • disciplinary methods tend to be harsh and
    punitive
  • the parent-child relationship is fearful and
    distant

24
Children of Authoritarian Parents
  • tend to be fearful, anxious
  • have higher level of depression
  • rebellious/defiant toward authority figures
  • relies too much on authority for decisions
  • lower self-esteem feels trapped and angry but
    afraid to confront his parents
  • he may perform well in school, but the
    achievement is more to meet the parents high
    expectations.

25
Permissive Parents
  • These parents have little control.
  • They may be indulgent or indifferent.

26
Indulgent Permissive Parents
  • Are overprotective
  • Submit to their childrens whims and demands
  • Cannot say no to their children.

27
Indifferent Permissive Parents
  • Are negligent
  • Uninvolved in their childrens lives
  • Often inconsistent in setting standards of
    behavior.

28
Children of Permissive Parents
  • Are often self-centered.
  • Are used to getting their own way
  • Are low in social responsibility
  • Display immature and regressive behaviors and may
    grow up to be infantile adults.
  • Lack self-disciple and have little respect for
    others.

29
Children of Permissive Parents
  • They are more likely to have behavioral problems,
    perform less well in school and feel unloved.
    Because they feel unloved or uncared for, they
    usually attach themselves to peers who similarly
    lack discipline.

30
Authoritative Parents
  • Balance of parental control and parental warmth.

31
Authoritative Parents
  • Warm and firm enforcing of standards of behavior
  • Encouraging/affirming
  • Provides children with autonomy with moderate
    limits
  • Use disciplinary methods that are supportive
    rather than punitive
  • There is a clear communication between parent and
    child, and the lines of communication go both
    ways

32
Children of Authoritative Parents
  • Performs better in school
  • Is less hostile and has greater self-esteem
  • Shows more purpose and independence in their
    activities
  • Is more self-reliant and more socially competent.
  • Has positive coping skills
  • Has clear understanding of acceptable and
    unacceptable behaviors

33
Neglecting/Rejecting Parents
  • These parents have low warmth.
  • rejecting parents are harsh and actively reject
    their children
  • neglecting parents ignore their children

34
Neglecting/Rejecting Parents
  • They fail to fulfill their responsibilities as
    parents they may not be committed to the task of
    raising children they may be depressed or
    emotionally unavailable to their children.

35
Children of Neglecting/Rejecting Parents
  • show higher rates of delinquency, drug use and
    early sexual activity.
  • perform poorly in school
  • show disruptions in peer relations as well as
    cognitive development.

36
Children of Neglecting/Rejecting Parents
  • show higher rates of delinquency, drug use and
    early sexual activity.
  • perform poorly in school
  • show disruptions in peer relations as well as
    cognitive development.

37
To My Grown Up SonsBy Alice E. Chase
  • My hands were busy through the day
  • I did not have time to play
  • The little games you asked me to.
  • I did not have much time for you.
  • Id wash your clothes, Id sew and cook
  • But when youd bring your picture book and ask me
    please to share your fun,
  • Id say A little later, son.

38
  • Id touch you in all safe at night and hear your
    prayers,
  • Turn out the light then tip toe softly to the
    door,
  • I wish Id stay a minute more, for life is short
  • The years rush past
  • A little boy grows up so fast
  • No longer is he at your side
  • His precious secrets to confide
  • The picture books are put away

39
  • There are no more games to play
  • No good night kiss, no prayers to hear
  • That all belong to yesteryear.
  • My hands once busy, now lie still
  • The days are long and hard to fill.
  • Oh I wish I might go back to do
  • The little things you asked me to.
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