The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

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The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

• Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

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Session 1 Problems and Solutions
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I had a problem, a big one

• I had a well paid job. My boss is really nice. I
  saw a bright career path in front of me.
• I lived out of my own country and far from my
  family.
• I failed multiple times in relationships. I felt
  lonely after I went home. I wanted to have my own
  family.
• I am not happy!

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In fact, everybody had one

• I am having tremendous professional success, but
  its cost me personal and family life.
• I know Im overweight. I tried all the ways
  without success.
• My employees are always waiting for me to give
  them orders. I am tired of that.
• I am too busy. I feel pressured and hassled all
  day, every day, seven days a week.
• My kid wont listen to me anymore
• There is no love in my marriage. We dont feel it
  anymore.

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Whats the biggest problem you are facing?

• At work
• In family
• Relationship
• Health
• Time
• Meaning of life
• Death

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What to do with the problem?

• Put it aside, try not to think about it
• Worry about it
• Talk about it
• Work on it!

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Deal with the problem

• Acknowledge the problem
• A problem cannot be solved if we pretend that it
  doesnt exist
• A real problem cannot be hidden
• A real problem wont go away
• Define the problem
• Whats bothering me most? Why?
• Write it down
• Solve the problem
• How?

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New Level of Thinking

• The significant problems we face cannot be
  solved at the same level of thinking we were at
  when we created them
• Albert Einstein

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The way we see the problem is the problem

• Its out there. Its the problem of the others.
  
• We look at the symptoms and ignore the root cause
• We expect some magic techniques and quick fixes.
  The real solution may be a long process and
  require significant efforts
• Examples
• Employees lack of loyalty
• Marriage without love
• Always busy, but little accomplished

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How to see differently?
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Paradigm - How do we see things?

• The lens we all wear
• We all see things through our own Paradigms,
  which are our own ways of thinking.
• We may not know the paradigm exists, like contact
  lens. We think what we see is objective. But it
  may not be.
• Two people can see the same thing, disagree and
  yet both be right.
• Our unique experience creates the lens
• Family
• Education
• Environment
• Culture

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Power of the Paradigm

• Paradigm is our map
• Reality, the way things are, where are we now.
• Value, the way things should be, where do we want
  to be
• Paradigm determines
• Our attitudes
• Our behaviors

• Wrong map
• Try to find ways in New York using a map of
  Chicago.
• Working on attitudes and behaviors wont help.

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What to do with our Paradigms?

• Be aware of them
• Take responsibilities of them, examine them, test
  them against reality
• Listen to others, be open to their perspectives
• Get the large picture

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Paradigm shift - See things differently

• Paradigm shift is powerful
• Fundamentally change our attitudes and behaviors
• The only way for us to make significant and
  quantum changes
• Science
• From Earth center to Sun center
• From bloodletting to gem theory
• Society
• From Kings to Democracy
• Life
• Life threaten crisis
• Step into a new role

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Solve our problems

• What are the maps we are using?
• The way we see things
• The way we handle things
• Are the maps correct?
• Can they explain our current situation?
• Can we get to the destination using them?
• Are we lost using the current map?
• Change the map

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Thoughts about my own problem

• My old paradigms
• There is only successful career path for me. I
  rely on my boss to promote me in the company
  ladder. To be successful in career, I have to
  live in United States.
• My perfect partner will fall into my life from
  heaven. We will fall in love immediately and be
  happy ever after. I just need to wait.
• Love is sweet and all about happiness.
• As long as I have a family, every problem will be
  resolved.
• My attitude and behaviors are solely based on
  those paradigms.
• Are they correct?

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Whats the correct map?

• Principles
• Real, unchanging, unarguable and self-evident as
  natural laws
• Universally applicable among different societies
  and religions

• Examples
• Only if you are trustworthy, you can earn long
  term trust
• Principles determine the results
• Correct map are Principle-Centered

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Principles, Practices and Values

• Principles vs. Practices
• Guidelines vs. Activities
• Universal application vs. Situation Specific
• Always true vs. Work in some circumstances
• Principle empowers people to create variety of
  practices to deal with different situations
• Principles vs. Value
• Objective territory vs. Map

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How to change the map?

• Inside-out
• Start with yourself
• Paradigms
• Characters
• Motives
• Private victory precedes public victory
• Keep Promise to ourselves before to others
• Improve ourselves before improve the
  relationships
• Work on our characters before work on
  personalities
• Continuing renewal process

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Inside-out examples

• To have a good marriage
• Generate positive energy
• Sidestep negative energy
• To have a pleasant, cooperative teenager
• More understanding
• Empathic
• Consistent
• Loving
• To have more freedom, more latitude in your job
• Be more responsible
• More helpful
• More contributing
• To be trusted
• Be trustworthy

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Put the map inside us, permanently

• Characters
• Relatively permanent
• Distinguishing features
• Manifest when relates to others and reacts to
  various kinds of challenges
• Examples
• Courage
• Honesty
• Loyalty

• Characters determine our destiny
• Determine our actions and reactions
• Determine how people see us and treat us

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Characters Ethic vs. Personalities Ethic

• Characters Ethic
• The foundation of success come from the
  Characters like Integrity, Humility, Courage
• Personalities Ethic
• Human and Public Relationship techniques
• Positive Mental Attitude
• Characters vs. Personalities
• Inside-out vs. Outside-in
• Permanent vs. Inconsistent
• Natural vs. Artificial

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The New Paradigm

• The new level of thinking
• Principle-centered
• Character-based
• Inside-out

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Principles of Growth

• Growth are sequential
• Multiple Stages
• The later stage is built upon the previous one
• Each one is important. None can be skipped
• Each one takes time

• Example Learning to run
• Turn over, sit up, crawl, walk, run

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The Paradigm Change Process

• Its a continuing renewal process
• Learn the principles
• Build the characters
• Start with ourselves

• Emotional Development Level
• Listening to others requires Patience, Openness,
  Desire to understand
• No quick fixes. No shortcut

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Conclusion

• Solution to your problem

Change the way you see the it
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Whats next?

• We learned
• Our significant problems are the fruits of our
  own paradigms, the lens we wear and the maps
  we use
• Our problems can only be solved by paradigm
  shifts.
• A correct paradigm is Principle-Centered,
  Character-based, Inside-out
• Paradigm shift takes a continuing renewal process
• Whats missing
• A actionable process to guide us in making the
  paradigm shift

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Next Session

• Session 2
• The Overview of The 7 Habits