Violence in teen and young adult relationships

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Violence in teen and young adult relationships

• Sally Wuellenweber
• Training and Standards Coordinator
• NH Coalition Against Domestic Sexual Violence
• 603-224-8893 x 306
• sally_at_nhcadsv.org

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Learning Objectives

• Increased awareness of prevalence of teen and
  young adult dating violence
• Increased knowledge of the warning signs of teen
  dating violence and barriers for teenagers
• Increased ability to engage someone who is in an
  abusive relationship
• Increased awareness of resources for teens and
  young adults involved in violent relationships

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Prevalence of teen dating violence

• National research indicates the prevalence of
  dating violence among high-school students as
  high as 41.3 (Sugerman and Hotaling).
• 1 in 3 girls who have been in a serious
  relationship say they have been concerned about
  being physically hurt by their partner
• 1 in 5 teens who have been in a serious
  relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed
  by a partner

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Prevalence continued

• Almost one-third of girls who have been in a
  relationship (29) said theyve been pressured to
  have sex or to engage in sexual acts when they
  didnt want to do so
• One-fourth (24) reported that their partner
  might retaliate by picking a verbal fight, and
  12 even worried about the possibility of being
  physically harmed.
• (Liz Claiborne Inc. Teen Relationship Abuse
  Survey 3/06. 1,004 teens surveyed)

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Awareness of teen dating violence among parents
educators

• Many parents, teachers, other school officials
  are unaware of problem of dating violence.
• 50 of teens would talk with parents if they were
  a victim.
• Only 36 of these teens report their parents have
  discussed TDV with them.
• 38 of schools had discussions, assemblies or
  classes addressing TDV.
• (Social Control, Verbal Abuse, and Violence
  Among Teenagers 12/01)

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Teen Dating Violence

• A pattern of intentional coercive behaviors used
  by one person to gain and maintain power and
  control over another.
• Abusive behaviors may include physical violence,
  sexual violence, emotional abuse, psychological
  intimidation, verbal abuse, stalking, economic
  control and most often a combination of the above
  tactics.
• Within context of current or former dating
  relationship.

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Teen Power Control Wheel
Intimidation
Peer Pressure
Emotional Abuse
Sexual Coercion
Power Control
Using Status
Isolation
Minimizing, Denying Blaming
Threats
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Adolescent vs. Adult Domestic Violence--Similariti
es

• Emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse are
  virtually always present in relationship, while
  physical violence may or may not be.
• Tactics are abusive, but may not be against the
  law.
• Occurs in all socioeconomic groups, in same- sex,
  bi-sexual and heterosexual relationships, to
  females and males, includes all ethnicities, and
  religions.
• Increased danger when victim attempts to end
  relationship
• Violence often worsens over time
• Protective Orders are available for qualified
  abuse

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Gender Differences in Reports of TDV

• Females and males report experiencing TDV.
• Girls more likely to be punched and forced to
  engage in sexual activity.
• Boys more likely to be pinched, slapped,
  scratched, kicked.
• Female victims most common response to violence
  was fear and being emotionally hurt.
• Male victims more likely to respond that they
  thought it was funny or that the violence made
  them angry.
• (Tolerance for Violence--Milwaukee County Study)

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Barriers for Teen Victims

• Peer Approval- Teens rely more heavily on peer
  approval, and tend to conform to peer norms.
  Adolescent norms make it difficult to judge what
  behavior is okay, and whats unacceptable.
• Gender Role Expectations- Stereotypical ideas of
  males and females continue to heavily influence
  our teens
• Lack of Experience- Teens may not have too much
  history to compare current relationships
  withvulnerable to not trusting their own
  instincts in the context of an intimate
  relationship.

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Barriers for Teen Victims

• Little Contact with Adult Resources
• Less Access to Resources
• LEGAL
• MEDICAL
• SHELTER
• SCHOOL
• EMPLOYMENT
• TRANSPORTATION
• Teens may need parent/guardian permission for
  SOME forms of relief

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Barriers for Teen Victims

• Pregnancy- Teens may be pressured into sexual
  intimacy with partners who refuse to use birth
  control, or they may be sexually assaulted.
  Physical abuse risks are high during pregnancy,
  as with adult victims. The increased isolation
  of teen pregnancy increases vulnerability to
  manipulation control by the abuser.
• Homosexuality-The dynamics of abuse in lesbian,
  gay or bi-sexual dating relationships is similar
  to those in heterosexual relationships.
  Increased isolation due to homophobia, and
  coming-out issues is extremely likely.

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Barriers for Teen Victims

• Culture and Race- Can strongly impact a victims
  tolerance of abuse. Can strongly influence the
  decision not to seek help or report abuser.
• -Cultural disapproval of dating
  sexuality may bring reprisal or shame,
• -Outside help may bring conflict to
• family,
• -Discrimination may limit options for
• victims.

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Barriers to Teen Victims

• Sexual Abuse- The resulting feelings of
  degradation, humiliation, worthlessness and shame
  act to gradually undermine the victims ability to
  escape. The inexperience of young victims makes
  them particularly vulnerable to sexually coercive
  tactics
• (i.e., verbal accusations of not being a good
  lover, being frigid, being gay, not being sexy or
  pretty enough, being promiscuous, being a tease,
  etc.).

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Barriers to Teen Victims

• Substance Abuse- Not the cause of violence. Can
  reduce inhibitions and increase the level of
  violence used. It also interferes with effective
  decision -making survival skills. May be used
  as a substitute for positive coping
  strategiesleading to increased vulnerability.

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How can you help?

• What Might Victims Need?
• Someone to listen and believe
• Reassurance
• Safety planning
• Information and referrals
• Non-judgmental and on-going support
• Honesty and upfront information
• Respect

• What about the Perpetrators?
• Be candid and direct
• It establishes that he can talk about something
  hes probably avoided.
• Helps him to see his behavior is a pattern not
  just a few isolated incidents (of their problems
• Supportive Confrontation
• Challenge the ways the abuser minimizes and
  denies. Educate, inform, dont go along with
  it

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How can you help continued?

• Talk with the student or provide for the student
  to receive support services with someone- If you
  are not comfortable talking with the student
  about your observations, arrange for another
  adult to speak with the student. If you are
  going to speak with the student Be ready to
  Listen -Let her/him know what your specific
  concerns are Ask her about her resources, has
  she talked with a parent/trusted adult- Inform
  the student if you have information that makes
  you concerned for the students safety and your
  requirement to make a child abuse report- Arrange
  for the student to speak with a DV advocate
• (Report suspected child abuse- Remember you are a
  mandatory reporter of child abuse)

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How can you help your school address teen dating
violence?

• Know your schools policy regarding dating
  violence. Is dating violence specifically
  addressed in your Title IX policy or your school
  bullying policy? If not, can you get the policy
  amended to include dating violence?
• Find out the resources available in your school.
  Student Support Center, Does your health
  teacher/guidance counselor/school nurse have a
  contact at the local crisis center? Does the
  student have a mentor/advisor?

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How can you help your school address teen dating
violence?

• Identify your natural allies with regard to
  working with teen dating violence/sexual assault
• Reach out to your local crisis center. All
  crisis centers provide victim advocacy and
  prevention education.
• Review your schools Title IX Policy and School
  Bullying Policy
• Meet with your School Resource Officer
• Bring Dating Violence, Sexual Assault, Stalking,
  and bullying prevention programs to your
  classroom
• Reach out to school organization such as Key Club
  / Student Council / Athletic Organizations and
  get students on board.
• Offer building healthy relationship groups,
  especially helpful for girls.

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Resources

• Local Crisis Centerswhat can they do?
• 24 hour availability
• Police Hospital accompaniment
• Assistance with the civil process
• Free Confidential
• Peer support groups
• Walk-in services
• Referrals
• Shelter

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Efforts in NH Schools

• NH Coalition Against Domestic Sexual Violence
  has 25 years of history of working in schools
  and providing prevention education.
• 14 crisis centers throughout NH.
• Educational programming in every NH county.

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Dating violence prevention programs

• Studies suggest effectiveness of TDV prevention
  programs
• Change attitudes of males and females.
• Teach students they have a right to be treated
  with respect by partner.
• Significantly reduce psychological and sexual
  abuse perpetration.

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K-12 Curricula Offered

• Bullying
• Dating Violence
• Sexual harassment/assault
• Personal safety
• Healthy relationships
• Self-esteem
• Gender stereotypes
• Staff / administration training

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Additional resources

• Toll-free Domestic violence and stalking NH
  hotline [phone]
• Toll-free Sexual Assault NH hotline
• 1-800-277-5570
• www.reachoutnh.com or www.nhcadsv.org
• Teen dating violence A guide for educators
• www.loveisnotabuse.com
• Handouts at Information Table