Practical ways to cure your hearts harshness: A spiritual and behavioral workshop

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???????Practical ways to cure your hearts
harshnessA spiritual and behavioral workshop

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• ???? ???? ?????? ???????? ???????? ??????? (ISGS)
  
• Dr. Salah Sultan
• President of the American Islamic Research Center
• President of the Columbus Fatwah and Islamic
  Studies Center

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Outline
The importance of a benevolent heart in
Islam. The definition of a harsh heart and its
signs/symptoms. The practical way to cure a
hearts harshness 1- baring/uncovering ones
heart 2- work on your heart

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The importance of a benevolent heart in Islam

• 1- ????? ?? ???? ??????? ?? ?????.
• 2- ????? ?? ???? ??????? ?? ?????? ???????.
• 3- ????? ?? ???? ??????? ?? ?????? ???.
• 4- ????? ?? ???? ??????? ?? ??????.
• 5- ????? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ?????? ??? ????? ????.
• 6- ????? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ?????? ???????.

1- Your heart holds either your belief or
kufr. 2- your heart holds either your dedication
or your indolence and hypocrisy 3- your heart
holds either your praise of Allah or your
forgetfulness of him 4- your heart holds either
your happiness or misery 5- Your heart either
holds your? or your insolence to sin 6- your
heart either holds your mercy or your inhumanity
and heartlessness
4
????- ????? ????? ?? ???????
The importance of a benevolent heart in Islam
-Continued

• 9- ????? ?? ???? ????? ?? ?????.
• 10- ????? ?? ???? ??????? ?? ?????.
• 11- ????? ?? ???? ???? ??????.
• 12- ????? ?? ???? ????? ?? ?????.
• 13- ????? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ???????
• 14- ????? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ????? ??????.

9- your heart holds either your knowledge/wisdom
or ignorance 10- your heart holds either your
courage or cowardice 11- your heart holds either
your love or hate 12- your heart holds either
your decency or impropriety 13- your love holds
either your chivalry or discourtesy 14- your
heart holds either your envy or jealousy and
enmity
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The importance of a benevolent heart in Islam
-Continued

• 15- ????? ?? ???? ??????? ?? ?????
• 16- ????? ?? ???? ????????? ?? ????? ?????????.
• 17- ????? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ?????.
• 18- ????? ?? ???? ?????? ?? ???????.

15- your heart holds either your humility or
arrogance 16- your heart holds either your
serenity or worry and turbulence 17- your heart
holds either your loyalty or betrayal 18- your
heart is the key to your success or failure
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????? 87 ??? ????????.
Repentance was mentioned in the Quran about 87
times to show its importance
Repentance Is to admit the sin, feel bad for it
and commit never to do it again.
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Three Kinds of repentance
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10
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Practical examples of repentance

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First Historical examples 1- Wahshi bin Harb 2-
Kab bin Malik 3- Maiz and AlGhamidi 4- The one
who killed 99 people
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Practical examples of repentance

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  ?????.
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  ??????.
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  ????.
• 5- ???? ??????? ???? ??? ???????? ??? ???? ???
  ???? ?? ???.

Second Contemporary examples for repentance 1-
the young man who went to Umra and repented
before coming back 2- the young man who prayed
only once, asked for forgiveness, and then died
in a car crash 3- the youth man who repented on
the plane after 37 years of cruelty 4- the model
who repented after hearing Amr Khalad 5- the taxi
driver who turned 40 and never prayed, but then
repented
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Musharata Personal commitment to do something
good.
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Commit to do the following Iman
(belief) Dedication Good behavior Being good to
your parents Caring for relatives Helping
orphans Generosity Being truthful Honesty
Repentance is to stop Kufr Hypocrisy Bad
Behavior Disobedience Parents Disruption of
relationship with relatives Adultery Being unjust
to an orphan Selfishness and extreme
misery Lying Cheating and disloyalty
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Commit to do 1- Humility 2- Be loyal 3- Control
your anger 4- be just 5- earn Halal money 6- Be
strong 7- Teach
Repent from Arrogance treachery Temper Oppression
Eating haram Following desires Keeping
knowledge Spying Arrogance
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Be fair Earn clean money Strength and patience
Learn and teach Respecting others privacy Speak
with clean language Respecting the elderly and
having mercy upon the youngsters Mercy and
compassion on all living creatures Frankness and
advice Being moderate in spending money
Repent by not doing the following Unfairness Eati
ng haram food or suspicious foods Following your
desires Repression of knowledge Gossip and
slander Cussing and profanity Mockery Brutality
and cruelty Shrewdness and trickery Flamboyance
and extravagance
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Two kinds of commitment 1- General commitment
To follow Islam with its beliefs, manners, and
law. 2- Specific commitment To commit to
overcome specific diseases or to do specific
obligations.
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Examples of general commitment
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• 1- ?? ???? ???? ???? ?????? ??? ????? ?? ????
  ?????? ??? ???? ????? ????? ?????? ???? ???
  ??????? ?????? ??.
• 1- A person who is overcome by the desire to eat
  and so he becomes overweight or sick. So he
  commits to reducing the quantity of food.
• 2- ?? ???? ???? ???? ????? ???? ??????? ????
  ?????? ????? ????? ?? ??????? ?? ????? ?? ???
  ???????? ?? ????? ??????.
• 2- The person who is overcome by sexual
  temptations. So he commits to fasting two or
  three days each week and staying away from the
  places of temptation.
• 3- ?? ??? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ????? ?? ?????
  ????? ?????? ????? ????? ??? ?????.
• 3- A person who is quick to get angry should
  commit to taking his time before reacting and to
  forgive and let things go. He should also control
  his tongue when he is angry.
• 4- ?? ??? ?????? ???? ?????? ????? ??? ????
  ?????? ??????? ???? ??????.
• 4- A person who talks a lot without thinking
  should commit to reducing his speech.

Examples of specific commitments
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Examples of specific commitments

• 5- ?? ??? ????? ????? ????? ?? ????? ??? ?????
  ??? ?????? ?? ??????? ???? ????? ????.
• 5- A person who is wasteful should work to save
  money and take advice before making decisions.
• 6- ?? ??? ???? ???????? ?????? ??? ???? ?????
  ???? ???? ???? ?? ??? ???? ?????? ?? ????? ????
  ??? ???? ????? ????? ???? ????? ?????.
• 6- Whoever loves leadership positions and people
  applauding his work should get out of such
  positions and do good deeds of charity and prayer
  in secret.
• 7- ?? ??? ???? ??? ??????? ?????? ??????? ?????
  ??? ???? ????? ???? ????? ??????? ???????.
• 7- Whoever finds himself disorganized should
  commit to taking time to bring order to his time,
  house, library and car.
• 8- ?? ??? ?????? ?? ??? ?????? ???? ???? ???????
  ??? ????? ?? ?????? ???????.
• 8- If a persons father or relative passes away he
  should make a commitment to spend on his brothers
  and sisters and relatives who are orphaned.

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The characteristics of effective commitment to
change 1- Setting high goals. 2- Being
realistic. 3- Making change one step at a time.
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????? ???????? Definition

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• Getting ones own self to perform the mandatory,
  the requirements, and what pleases Allah and to
  leave the forbidden and what displeases Allah.

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????? ???????? Its Importance

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• Ibn Al-Qayim states that a servant of Allah will
  not be pious until he struggles
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• Al-Ragheb Al-Safahani says that knowledge
  corrects the understanding while struggle
  corrects the desires
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  ?????
• I struggled within myself one year to practice
  night prayers, then I tasted the sweetness of it
  for twenty years
• ????? ?????? ?? ????? ????? ??? ??? ?? ????
• Soufian Al-Thawry I have not treated anything
  that was more difficult but my soul,

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????? ???????? Its Importance

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  ?????? ?? ????
• Hassan Al-Basry said The soul needs as much of
  a strong leash as a strong camel needs a strong
  leash.
• ?????? ??? ???? ?? ?????? ????? ??????? ?? ???
  ?? ????? ??? ???? ???? ??? ?????
• Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq asked Omar Ibn Al-Khattab to
  lead the Muslims after him he wrote The first
  thing I want to warn about, is your soul that is
  within you

" ???? ?? ??? ???? ?????? ??????? ??? ?????? ??
??????? ???? ?? ??? ???? ???? ???? ????? ??
?????? ??? ????? ?? ??????" (????????37-40)
Then for him who transgressed all bounds, and
preferred the life of this world. Verily his
abode will be Hell-fire But as for him who
feared standing before his Lord, and restrained
himself from impure evil desires and lusts
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??? ?? ???????? ????? Examples

• " ???? ??? ????? ??????? ??? ?? ???? ???????
  ????? ??? ??? ??? ???? ???? ??? ?? ????? ???? ???
  ??? ?? ????? ???? ????? ?????? ??? ??? ??????
  ????".
• Then when Talut set out with the army, he said
  Verily! Allah will try you by a river. So
  whoever drinks thereof, he is not of me, and
  whoever tastes it not, he is of me, except him
  who takes (thereof) in the hollow of his hand.
• ?? ??? ????? ????? ?? ????? ??? ???????? ?? ?????
  ????? ?? ?????? ?????? ??????? ??? ???? ?????? ??
  ?????? ?????? ?????? ?? ??????
• It was not easy for the Arabs to change from
  their condition before Islam which included
  drinking through the night, and being abusive and
  transgressors during the day. They changed from
  this status to being worshipers during the night
  and pious fasting people during the day.

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??? ?? ???????? ????? Examples

• ??? ?? ????? ???- ??? ?? ????? ???? ??? ???
  ?????? ???? ???? ???????? ????? ???? ?? ????.
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  ????? ?????? ????? ????? ??? ??? ???? ?? ????????
  ??? ???? ??? ??? ???? ??????
• Anas Ibn Al-Nadr said after he missed the battle
  of Badr, if Allah gives me the opportunity to
  fight the unbelievers then He will see what I
  will do. In the battle of Uhud when the Muslims
  backs were exposed and the unbelievers started
  winning the battle, he started battling the
  unbelievers with his sword, his body was seen
  with eighty some sword wounds, and several other
  arrow wounds. The unbelievers cut his body into
  pieces and no one could identify him except his
  sister.

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??? ?? ???????? ????? Examples

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• Men of Dawah in contemporary time
• Shaheed Hassan Al-Banna
• Shaheed Hassan Al-Hudheiby
• Sh. Muhammad Salem
• Dr. Ahmad Al-Qadi
• Dr. Jamal Badawi

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??? ????? ?????? ??????? ??????How to Struggle
Against Oneself General Principles

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• Bringing alive the love of Allah in our hearts.
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• Reviving the fear of Allah (SWT)
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• The strong will and desire

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???????? ?????? Special Ways

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• If one is used to a habit such as drinking tea or
  coffee, therefore they should struggle and strive
  within themselves as mentioned by Imam Shahid
  Hassan Al-Banna to give it up so they are not
  dependent on it.
• ?? ???? ??? ???? ????? ??? ??????? ????? ??
  ?????? ??? ??? ??????? ????
• One should leave once in a while the most liked
  type of food that is available on the dinner
  table.

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???????? ?????? Special Ways

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  ?? ????? ?????? ???? ?? ????? ???? ?? ?? ?????
  ????? ?? ??????? ???????? ??? ???????? ??? ???
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  ???????? ???????? ??? ????? ???????? ?????????
  ???????
• If one brother or sister is used to spending
  unwisely even in charity, he/she should strive
  within themselves to control their spending
  little by little. On the other hand, if one is
  cheap, then they should strive to spend in the
  cause of Allah on his family, relatives and
  charitable organizations.

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???????? ?????? Special Ways

• ?? ??? ???? ?? ???? ??? ???? ????? ??? ???? ????
  ?? ????? ???? ?????? ?? ?????? ???? ???? ???? ???
  ????? ? ??? ?????? ???? ?? ???? ???? ???? ?????
  ?????? ??????? ??????? ??????? ???????? ??? ???
  ??? ?????? ????? ???? ????? ????????? ??? ????"
  ??????? ???? ???? ???????".
• If one gets angry and easily loses control, then
  one should observe himself and his tempers. One
  must remember that it is the strong that can
  control himself when angry. Therefore if one gets
  angry on something that is not for the sake of
  Allah, then one must condition himself by fasting
  or praying through the night. We must remember
  that if two people fight with each other, it is
  the better one who forgives first and goes to
  makes peace.

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???????? ?????? Special Ways

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  ???? ????? ??? ????? ?? ??? ???? ?? ???? ?????
  ???? ?? ????? ???? ?? ???????? ??? ?? ??????
  ?????? ???? ??? ?? ???? ?????? ??? ??? ??? ??
  ???? ???????? ?? ???? ???? ?? ?????? ??? ?????.
• If a husband is usually quiet when he get home
  from work and his wife cant wait until she hears
  something nice about the food she prepared or how
  nice she looks, then the husband must strive
  within himself to speak kindly to his wife and to
  strike a conversation because a nice word is
  charity and making his wife happy is an Islamic
  duty. It is mentioned that whoever makes people
  in his home happy will be rewarded paradise.

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???????? ?????? Special Ways

• ??? ???? ?????? ????? ???? ?? ???? ???? ?????
  ????? ???? ???? ???????? ???? ??????? ???? ??????
• However one who speaks very frequently should
  strive to listen more.
• ???? ???? ?????? ?? ????? ??????? ?????? ?? ?????
  ??? ?? ???? ?????? ??? ?? ??????? ?????? ??????
  ?? ????? ?????? ????? ?? ???????? ?????????
  ??????? ??????? ?????? ??? ????? ???????? ??
  ?????? ??? ????? ???????
• There are brothers and sisters who dont like
  reading, they think it is boring. These people
  must strive within themselves to establish
  organized readings. They could start with small
  books then move on to bigger books.

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???????? ?????? Special Ways

• ??? ????? ???? ?? ???? ?????? ????? ????? ???????
  ???? ??? ???? ??? ??????? ?? ?????? ??? ??? ??
  ??????? ??? ??? ???? ???? ???? ???? ?? ????? ??
  ???? ????? ?? ???? ???
• If one is used to driving fast, then one must
  strive to slow down by practicing driving within
  the speed limit. However if one drives fast
  again, they should punish themselves with a long
  walk, or giving up a favorite food or drink.
• ?? ????? ?? ????? ??? ???? ??? ?????? ?? ????
  ????? " ?? ???? ??? ???????? ???? ????????? "
  ??????? ??? ?? ???? ???? ??????? ?? ?? ??? ????
• If one is used to making Wudu only at the prayer
  times, then he/she should listen to what Allah
  says in the Quran Allah love those who turn
  unto Him in repentance and loves those who purify
  themselves by washing.

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???????? ?????? Special Ways

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  ??? ???? ?????? ?? ????? ?????? ??? ???? ??????
  ???? ????? ? ???? ????? ???? ?? ?? ??? ? ????
  ????? ????? ?????
• Keeping certain acts of voluntary worship that
  keeps us on the straight path. Such as Duha
  Prayer, fasting 3 days of every month, giving
  charity in secret, remembering and mentioning
  Allah at regular times.
• ?? ??????? ???? ?????? ????? ???? ???? ???????
  ?????? ????????? ???????? ?????? ??? ????? ???
  ??????
• If desiring women is always on ones mind, or
  looking at advertisement or TV shows that have
  almost naked women, then fasting is the cure

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????? ????? ?????? ?????Benefits of Struggle

• ???? ?? ??? ??? ????? ??? ??? ???? ?????? ?????
  ????? "???? ?? ??? ???? ??? ???? ????? ?? ??????
  ??? ????? ?? ??????"
• The ultimate goal of any servant of Allah is
  achieving paradise. As Allah mentioned in the
  Quran But as for him who feared standing before
  his lord, and restrained himself from impure evil
  desires and lusts. Verily, Paradise will be his
  abode.
• ????????? ?? ?????? ??????? ??? ????? ?????? ??
  ??????? ?? ????? ??????? ?????? ??? ???????? ???
  ????? ??????? ????? ??? ????? ????????
• Feeling comfortable and peace with oneself by
  moving the Muslim soul from a status of a soul
  which is lustful by striving and struggling to
  improve to a soul that is at peace with itself.

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????? ????? ?????? ?????Benefits of Struggle

• ??????? ???? ????? " ?????? ????? ????? ????????
  ??? ??????? ??? ????? ??? ?????? ??????? ?? ????
  ???? ??? ????? ????? ???? ???? ??????
• Gathering ones soul to the order of Allah O you
  who believe! Answer Allah by obeying Him and His
  Messenger when he calls you to that which will
  give you life, and know that Allah comes in
  between a person and his heart. And verily to Him
  you shall all be gathered.
• ????? ????? ??????
• ?????? ???????? ????? ??? ???? ????? ??
  ??????
• ????? ???? ??? ???? ???? ???? "??? ???? ????? ???
  ???????? ??? ???".
• Practicing patience and perseverance

42
????? ????? ?????? ?????Benefits of Struggle

• ?????? ??? ??????? ????????? "?? ?? ????? ????
  ??????? ??? ????? ??? ??????? ??????? ????????
  ???????? ???????? ????? ?????? ??????? ".
• Achieving the highest level of moral ethics which
  is the best way to be near our beloved Prophet
  Mohammad (PBUH). As the Prophet said The
  dearest of you to me and the closest of you to me
  on the Day of Judgment are the ones with highest
  character and morals, the easy going, those are
  comfortable with people and people are
  comfortable with.
• ??????? ??????? ??? ????? ????? ????? "??????
  ?????? ???? ???????? ?????? ??? ???? ???
  ????????"
• A continuous guidance to what is good as Allah
  says As for those who strive hard in our cause,
  We will surely guide them to Our Paths. And
  verily is with the good doers.

43
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44
????? ????????

• ??? ?????? ????? ??? ?????
• ???????? ???? ??????? ????????? ???????????
  ????????? ??????? ????????? ??????????? (??????
  19-20).
• ??? ??? ?????? ????? ??? ????? ?? ???? ????
  ??????? ??????? ????....???? ????? ??????? ?????
  (????? 21-27).
• ????? ???????? ?? ??? ???? ??? ????? ????????.
• ???? ????? ?? ???? ????? ??? ??????? ?? ?????
  ???? ???????.
• ???? ????? ??? ???????? ????????? ???????
  ???????? ??????? ??????????? ?????? ????
  ????????? ?????? ?????????? ??????? ????? ???????
  ??????? ????? ??????????? (????? 18).
• ?????? ???? ????? ???? ??? ???????? ??? ?????.
• ????? ?????? ??????? ?????? ???? ????? ???
  ????? ?? ?????? ?????? ?? ??? ????? ??????? ????
  ??? ?? ???? ???? ????????.

45
???? ????? ????????

• ?????? ??????? ???? ??? ????? ?? ???? ?? ??? ??
  ????? ??? ???? ???? ???? ??? ?????? ?? ??? ????
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  ????? ??? ???? ???????.
• ??? ??? ??? ?????? ?? ?????? ????? ?? ??? ??
  ?????? ??? ?????? ?????? ??? ?? ???????? ?????
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  ??? ?? ???????? ?????? ?????...? ???? ???? ????
  ???? ?? ?????? ??? ???? ?????.
• ??? ????? ?????? ?? ????? ?????? ???? ????? ??
  ???? ?? ????? ????? ???????? ?? ????.

46
???? ????? ????????

• ??? ??? ????? ?? ????? ??????? ?? ???? ?? ?????
  ??? ??? ??? ???? ???? ??? ????? ???? ????? ????
  ???? ????? ???? (?? ?? ??????) ?? ????? ?? ??????
  ?? ?????? ???? ???? ?? ??? ???? ??? ?????.
• ??? ??????? ?? ??????? ?? ????? ?? ????? ??? ???
  ?????? ????? ???? ??? ???? ????? ??? ?????? ??
  ?????? ??????.
• ??? ??? ????? ?? ????? ??????? ???? ?????
  ??????? ????? ?????? ???????? ?????????? ????.

47
3- ????? ????????

• ???? ?? ????
• ??? ?? ???? ???? ??????? ?? ????? ?????? ?????
  ???? ????? ??? ?? ????? ?? ?? ??? ?????? ???????
  ???? ?? ?? ??? ?? ????? ??? ????? ????? ????
  ????.
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  ?? ....?
• ????? ?? ???
• ?? ??? ???? ??? ????? ??? ???? ?? ???? ?? ???? ??
  ???? ?? ?????.
• ?? ???? ???? ??? ???? ?? ???? ????!

48
???? - ????? ????????

• ????? ?? ??? (??? ?????)
• ???? ?????? ?? ????????? ???? ??????? ???? ?????
  ??????.
• ?- ??? ??????? ??????. ?- ??? ????? ?????.
• ?- ??? ????? ??????? ???? ???? ???. ?- ??? ?????
  ?????.
• ??- ??? ????? ?????? ????.
• ????? ?? ???? ?? ?????
• ???? ??? ???? ???????? ????? ????? ??????
  ????? ?????? ????????? ???????? ???????????
  ?????? ????? ????? ??????????? ???? ????????
  ?????????? ?????? ?????????? ??????? ???????
  ?????????? ?????? ???????? ???????? ?????????
  ?????????? ??? ??? ??????????? ?????? ??????
  ???????? ???????? ???? ????????????? (???????
  15).

49
???? - ????? ????????

• ????? ??? ?? ????? ?? ????? ?? ????
• ??? ??? ???? ??? ???????? ??? ??? ??? ?????? ??
  ???? ????? ????? ?????. ??????? ????? ????? ???
  ?? ???? ??? ??? ???? ??????? ?? ????? ???????.
  ????? ?????????? ???? ?????????? ??????? ????????
  ??????????? ????????? ??? ??????? .. (??????30)
• ????? ??? ???? ????? ?? ????? ?? ??????
• ??? ???? ????? ????? ?? ?? ?? ???? ????? ?????
  ???? ???? ???? ???????????? ???? ???????????
  ????? ??? ????????? ??????????? ??????????
  (????37). ??? ???? ??????? ?? ??? ???? ??????
  ?????? ????? ??????? ?? ????? ??????? ???????
  ???? ?? ?????? ?? ????? ?? ?????.

50
????? ???????

• ?? ????? ???????? ???????? ?????????
  ????????

51
????? ??????? ????????

• ??? ??????? ????? ??????? ?? ???? ?? ???? ????
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52
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53
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