Scientific Writing, HRP 214

1
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Bob and I were very fond of the piece.
• B. Bob and me were very fond of the piece.

2
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Bob and I were very fond of the piece.
• B. Bob and me were very fond of the piece.

3
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. That man and I were talking.
• B. That man and me were talking.

4
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. That man and I were talking.
• B. That man and me were talking.

5
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Their data was intriguing.
• B. Their data were intriguing.

6
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Their data was intriguing.
• B. Their data were intriguing.

7
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. She told Bob and me that the end was near.
• B. She told Bob and I that the end was near.

8
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. She told Bob and me that the end was near.
• B. She told Bob and I that the end was near.

9
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. I hope that she and I will reconcile.
• B. I hope that she and me will reconcile.

10
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. I hope that she and I will reconcile.
• B. I hope that she and me will reconcile.

11
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Between you and I, we should have it done in
  no time.
• B. Between you and me, we should have it done in
  no time.

12
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Between you and I, we should have it done in
  no time.
• B. Between you and me, we should have it done in
  no time.

13
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. He looks like Bill Clinton.
• B. He looks as Bill Clinton.

14
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. He looks like Bill Clinton.
• B. He looks as Bill Clinton.

15
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Her dresses werent worth very much compared
  with her shoes.
• B. Her dresses werent worth very much compared
  to her shoes.

16
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Her dresses werent worth very much compared
  with her shoes.
• B. Her dresses werent worth very much compared
  to her shoes.
• mnemonic when things are inherently similar,
  they are generally grouped with each other
• ? Your scientific studies will more commonly be
  seeking distinctions among things previously
  understood to be similar (than similarities among
  inherently different things)

17
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. To whom did you betray my secret?
• B. To who did you betray my secret?

18
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. To whom did you betray my secret?
• B. To who did you betray my secret?

19
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Who owns that mean dog?
• B. Whom owns that mean dog?

20
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Who owns that mean dog?
• B. Whom owns that mean dog?

21
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The person about who you speak is a fool.
• B. The person about whom you speak is a fool.

22
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. The person about who you speak is a fool.
• B. The person about whom you speak is a fool.

23
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. People whom live in glass houses shouldnt
  throw stones.
• B. People who live in glass houses shouldnt
  throw stones.

24
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. People whom live in glass houses shouldnt
  throw stones.
• B. People who live in glass houses shouldnt
  throw stones.

25
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Its my head on the line.
• B. Its my head on the line.

26
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Its my head on the line.
• B. Its my head on the line.

27
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Its head was on the chopping block.
• B. Its head was on the chopping block.

28
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Its head was on the chopping block.
• B. Its head was on the chopping block.

29
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Virgil is the candidate who we hope to elect.
• B. Virgil is the candidate whom we hope to elect.

30
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Virgil is the candidate who we hope to elect.
• B. Virgil is the candidate whom we hope to elect.

31
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Your cigarette tastes good, like a cigarette
  should.
• B. Your cigarette tastes good, as a cigarette
  should.

32
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Your cigarette tastes good, like a cigarette
  should.
• B. Your cigarette tastes good, as a cigarette
  should.

33
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Over 30 disease states can result in the
  clinical characteristics of dementia.
• B. More than 30 disease states can result in the
  clinical characteristics of dementia.

34
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Over 30 disease states can result in the
  clinical characteristics of dementia.
• B. More than 30 disease states can result in the
  clinical characteristics of dementia.

35
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Fewer men are in the class than women.
• B. Less men are in the class than women.

36
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Fewer men are in the class than women.
• B. Less men are in the class than women.

37
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Fewer restrictive measures are needed.
• B. Less restrictive measures are needed.

38
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Juan Zabala is a twenty-nine-year-old Mexican
  whom the San Francisco police charged with
  breaking into a 1991 Honda Accord.
• B. Juan Zabala is a twenty-nine-year-old Mexican
  who the San Francisco police charged with
  breaking into a 1991 Honda Accord.

39
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A. Juan Zabala is a twenty-nine-year-old Mexican
  whom the San Francisco police charged with
  breaking into a 1991 Honda Accord.
• B. Juan Zabala is a twenty-nine-year-old Mexican
  who the San Francisco police charged with
  breaking into a 1991 Honda Accord.

40
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 1. There are a number of known causes of
  epilepsy. However, epilepsy with a definite
  antecedent neurologic insult that is presumed to
  be causal applies to only about one-third of all
  cases of epilepsy. The remaining two-thirds are
  idiopathic/cryptogenic.

41
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• Epilepsy is caused by a known neurologic insult
  in about one-third of cases the remainder are
  idiopathic/cryptogenic.

42
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 2. There are difficulties in applying the
  syndrome classification to population-based
  studies. First, the necessary information may
  not be available. Second, syndromes are, in
  part, classified by prognosis, and therefore not
  applicable to incidence cases. Third, a large
  proportion of population-based cases may not fit.
  A system incorporating the syndrome
  classification as reasonably as possible into
  population-based studies is needed.

43
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 2. The current syndrome classification system is
  inadequate in several respects the necessary
  information is not always available syndromes
  are, in part, classified by prognosis, and
  therefore not applicable to incident cases and a
  large proportion of population-based cases dont
  fit.

44
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 3. The two results are found to be in agreement.

45
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 3. The two results agree.

46
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 4. There is enormous variety of clinical
  presentation, as symptoms vary depending on the
  tumors location, size, and malignant versus
  benign behavior.

47
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 4. Clinical presentation varies widely depending
  on a tumors location and size, and whether it is
  malignant or benign.

48
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 5. Biostatistics can be a lot of fun because of
  the multidisciplinary team approach. In one
  project we have a nutritionist, a psychologist,
  statisticians, a computer specialist, and
  dietitians a whole range of specialties. When we
  all get together, everyone has a perspective to
  bring to the problem.

49
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 5. Our enjoyable multidisciplinary approach to
  biostatistics brings together nutritionists,
  psychologists, statisticians, computer engineers,
  and dietitianseach of whom adds a different
  perspective to the problem.

50
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 6. The high-dissonance participants were paid a
  small sum of money while being given a free
  choice of whether to participate, whereas the
  participants we randomly assigned to the
  large-incentive treatment (the low-dissonance
  condition) were not offered the opportunity to
  refuse.

51
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 6. High-dissonance participants were paid a
  small sum of money and were not required to
  participate low-dissonance participants were
  paid a large sum of money and were required to
  participate.

52
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• 7. The reasons for this exception are as follows
  1) although the assessment of birth cohort data
  often shares with other descriptive approaches a
  reliance on information that is usually
  available, it requires the application of an
  analytical approach with a level of complexity
  usually not found in descriptive epidemiology
  and 2) this type of analysis is often key for the
  understanding of the observed association between
  age (often strongly associated with the
  occurrence of many diseases as well as their
  determinants) and disease in cross-sectional
  analysis."

53
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK ANSWERS

• Possible rewrite
• 7. Birth cohort analysis will be treated
  separately from other descriptive approaches
  because 1) analyzing birth cohort data requires
  more complex statistical methods and 2)
  confounding by birth cohort is a common problem
  in cross-sectional studies.

54
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Some Notes on Science Style
• Following are some general guidelines on
  preferred style for manuscripts submitted to
  Science
• Avoid jargon explain obscure terms and define
  acronyms (keep in mind that many potential
  readers of your work will not be specialists in
  your field).
• Use active voice when suitable, particularly when
  necessary for correct syntax (e.g., "To address
  this possibility, we constructed a lZap library
  . . .," not "To address this possibility, a lZap
  library was constructed . . .").
• Write concisely (e.g., "even though," not "in
  spite of the fact that").

55
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Sentence-editing
warm-up

• Recent research suggests that these two
  disorders may not be as distinct as previously
  was thought and the degree of overlap may be
  considerable.

56
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Sentence-editing
warm-up

• Possible rewrite
• Recent research suggests that these two
  disorders may overlap considerably.

57
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Sentence-editing
warm-up

• The study of Barrett et al. (1997) is considered
  to be methodologically sound. In that study,
  1,000 bacteria were transformed with the novel
  gene.

58
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Sentence-editing
warm-up

• Possible rewrites
• In a methodologically sound study by Barret et
  al. (1997), 1,000 bacteria were transformed with
  the novel gene. (passive voice)
• Using sound methods, Barret et al. (1997),
  transformed 1,000 bacteria with the novel gene.
  (active voice)

59
Scientific Writing, HRP 214MORE WARM-UP

• 1. A progressive decrease in the death rate
  occurred.
• The death rate progressively decreased.
• 2. These agents exert their action by inhibition
  of synthesis of cholesterol by the liver.
• These agents inhibit cholesterol synthesis by the
  liver.

60
Scientific Writing, HRP 214WARM-UP

• 3. There are many scientists who dont like to
  write.
• Many scientists dont like to write.
• In classic epidemiology, the case-control can
  provide efficiencies when the occurrence of
  disease in the population is relatively rare.
• ? In classic epidemiology, the case-control study
  is efficient when the disease is relatively rare.
  

61
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Lecture Three, July 6, 2005
• Punctuation, Parallelism, and the Good Sentence.

62
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• For those of you reading Sin and Syntax(from
  Salon magazine)
• Rather than a beepOr a rude error message,These
  words File not found.
• A crash reducesYour expensive computerTo a
  simple stone.

63
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• The code was willing,It considered your
  request,But the chips were weak.
• Errors have occurred.We won't tell you where or
  why.Lazy programmers.

64
Scientific Writing, HRP 214and a few from Car
Talk

• Four-wheel drive pickupI remember his last
  wordsHold my beer, watch this!
• I'm writing Haikugoing 80 miles per hourIs that
  safe to do?
• I have an old car.It rattles, coughs and
  sputters. I smile. No payments.

65
Scientific Writing, HRP 214and a few from Car
Talk

• Hilltop. Lake below.My car sinks so slowly.
  Thank god it's a rental.
• "Check engine" light on.Unscrew the dash. Stab
  with pen."Check engine" light off.
• Just one more exitGas prices will be
  lowerCheapskate starts walking

66
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Lesson One Our friends the dash, colon,
  semicolon, and parenthesis

67
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Note A clause is a unit of grammatical
  organization next below the sentence in rank. A
  clause has a subject and a predicate.

68
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Increasing power to separate
• Comma
• Colon
• Dash
• Parentheses
• Semicolon
• Period

69
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Increasing formality
• Dash
• Parentheses
• The Others (Comma,Colon,Semicolon,Period)

70
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Semicolon
Semicolon Indicates a pause, typically between
two main clauses, that is more pronounced than
that indicated by a comma. Example Kennedy
could be a cold and vain man, and he led a life
of privilege. But he knew something about the
world he also cared about it.
71
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Parentheses
Parenthesis (parenthetical expression) A word,
clause, or sentence inserted as an explanation or
afterthought into a passage that is grammatically
complete without it. ? If you remove the
material within the parentheses (pluralthe marks
containing the parenthetical expression), the
main point of the sentence should not change.
72
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Colon

• Use a colon after an independent clause to
  introduce a list of items, an explanation, an
  amplification, or an illustrative quotation.
• The colon has more effect than the comma, less
  power to separate than the semicolon, and more
  formality than the dash.--Strunk and White

73
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Colon (list or
explanation)

• The hydrogen bonds are made as follows purine
  position 1 to pyrimidine position 1 purine
  position 6 to pyrimidine position 6.
• These pairs are adenine (purine) with thymine
  (pyrimidine), and guanine (purine) with cytosine
  (pyrimidine).
• From A structure for Deoxyribose Nucleic
  AcidWatson and Crick 1953

74
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Colon (list or
explanation)

• Washington has a simple solution to most
  governments it doesnt like isolate them, slap
  sanctions on them and wait for their downfall.

75
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Colon (list)

• Cross-sectional studies that have measured BMD in
  formerly anorectic women or elite athletes up to
  25 years after diagnosis or cessation of
  competition have found mixed results, including
  normal BMD values for age (5,6,7), moderately
  reduced BMD (8), and unexpectedly high
  proportions of osteopenia and osteoporosis
  (9,10,11).

76
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Colon (quote,
list)

• The Ask not line follows right after an
  exhortation modeled on Franklin Roosevelts
  rendezvous with destiny In the long history
  of the world, only a few generations have been
  granted the role of defending freedom in its hour
  of maximum danger. I do not shrink from this
  responsibilityI welcome it. The note throughout
  is one of alarm The trumpet summons us again
  the burden of a long twilight struggle that
  uncertain balance of terror.

77

• NOTE The rule of threes for lists and
  examples.
• Example They dramatically reduced the number of
  series in production in 1935, fourteen series
  were circulating in 1940, nine by 1980, when
  the syndicate was in its final years, only four.

78
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Colon (to amplify
or interpret)

• Join two independent clauses with a colon if the
  second interprets or amplifies the first

Archer believes that the passengers on United
Flight 93, which crashed in Pennsylvania, did
something extraordinary they intervened.
Companies use Marsh for the same reason that
home sellers use real-estate agents the agents
knowledge and experience is supposed to help the
client get the right deal at the right price.
79
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Colon exercise

• Evidence-based medicine teaches clinicians the
  practical application of clinical epidemiology,
  as needed to address specific problems of
  specific patients. It guides clinicians on how
  to find the best evidence relevant to a specific
  problem, how to assess the quality of that
  evidence, and perhaps most difficult, how to
  decide if the evidence applies to a specific
  patient.

80
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Colon join and
condense

• Evidence-based medicine teaches clinicians the
  practical application of clinical epidemiology,
  including how to find the best evidence relevant
  to a specific problem, how to assess the quality
  of that evidence, and how to decide if the
  evidence applies to a specific patient.

81
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Colon misuse

• EXAMPLE, what not to do!
• Two aspects of alcohol use are related to brain
  injuries as a factor associated with risk of an
  injury such as a motor vehicle crash, and as a
  factor in TBI diagnosis, recovery, or survival
  after injury.
• ?
• Two aspects of alcohol use are related to brain
  injuries its association with risk of injury,
  such as motor vehicle crash, and its post-injury
  influences on TBI diagnosis, recovery, or
  survival after injury.

82
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Colon misuse

• EXAMPLE, what not to do!
• In one project we have a nutritionist, a
  psychologist, statisticians, a computer
  specialist, and dietitians a whole range of
  specialties.
• ?
• In one project we have a whole range of
  specialties a nutritionist, a psychologist,
  statisticians, a computer specialist, and
  dietitians.

83
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• Use a dash to set off an abrupt break or
  interruption and to announce a long explanation
  or summary. Helps add emphasis.
• A dash is a mark of separation stronger than a
  comma, less formal than a colon, and more relaxed
  than parentheses.Strunk and White
• Use a dash only when a more common mark of
  punctuation seems inadequate.Strunk and White
• i.e. Reserve this tool for the really tough
  jobs!

84
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• The drugs did more than prevent new fat
  accumulation. They also triggered overweight
  mice to shed significant amounts of fatup to
  half their body weight. (emphasis)
• To establish that the marrow cellsalso called
  adult stem cells or endothelial precursor
  cellscan colonize the eye, Friedlander and his
  colleagues first transplanted stem cells from an
  adult mouse into the eyes of newborn mice. (long
  summary)
• How would the feel of these sentences change with
  parentheses or commas?

85
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• With commas instead(clunky and long)
• The drugs did more than prevent new fat
  accumulation. They also triggered overweight
  mice to shed significant amounts of fat, up to
  half their body weight.
• To establish that the marrow cells, also called
  adult stem cells or endothelial precursor cells,
  can colonize the eye, Friedlander and his
  colleagues first transplanted stem cells from an
  adult mouse into the eyes of newborn mice.

86
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• With parentheses instead(buries the info.)
• The drugs did more then prevent new fat
  accumulation. They also triggered overweight
  mice to shed significant amounts of fat (up to
  half their body weight).
• To establish that the marrow cells (also called
  adult stem cells or endothelial precursor cells)
  can colonize the eye, Friedlander and his
  colleagues first transplanted stem cells from an
  adult mouse into the eyes of newborn mice.

87
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• Researchers who study shipworms say these
  mislabeled animalstheyre clams, not wormsare
  actually a scientific treasure. (emphasis and
  added information)
• The storewhich is windowless and has clusters
  of unsmiling security guards standing at its
  entrances, as if it were the embassy of a
  particularly beleaguered nationcaters to rich
  Brazilians, members of the ten per cent of the
  population who command nearly half the national
  income, and wear Chanel, Valentino, or Dolce
  Gabbana. (long description)

88
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• Commas instead
• Researchers who study shipworms say these
  mislabeled animals, theyre clams, not worms, are
  actually a scientific treasure. (commas arent
  strong enough to set off a clause)
• The store, which is windowless and has clusters
  of unsmiling security guards standing at its
  entrances, as if it were the embassy of a
  particularly beleaguered nation, caters to rich
  Brazilians, members of the ten per cent of the
  population who command nearly half the national
  income, and wear Chanel, Valentino, or Dolce
  Gabbana. (too long-winded without an abrupt
  pause)

89
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• Researchers who study shipworms say these
  mislabeled animals (theyre clams, not worms) are
  actually a scientific treasure. (buries the
  information)
• The store (which is windowless and has clusters
  of unsmiling security guards standing at its
  entrances, as if it were the embassy of a
  particularly beleaguered nation) caters to rich
  Brazilians, members of the ten per cent of the
  population who command nearly half the national
  income, and wear Chanel, Valentino, or Dolce
  Gabbana. (takes away from the description)

90
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• Baseball is the only game thats played every
  day, which is why its season often seems endless,
  right up to the inning and the outthe little
  toss over to first basewhen, wow, it ends.
• Comma instead
• Baseball is the only game thats played every
  day, which is why its season often seems endless,
  right up to the inning and the out, the little
  toss over to first base, when, wow, it ends. (no
  emphasis on the image)
• Parentheses instead
• Baseball is the only game thats played every
  day, which is why its season often seems endless,
  right up to the inning and the out (the little
  toss over to first base) when, wow, it ends.
  (makes it seem unimportant)

91
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• While all these steps are small and easily
  reversibleLibya is still ruled by a wacky
  megalomaniacthere is some real movement here.
• Comma instead
• While all these steps are small and easily
  reversible, Libya is still ruled by a wacky
  megalomaniac, there is some real movement here.
  (run-on sentence)
• Parentheses instead
• While all these steps are small and easily
  reversible
• (Libya is still ruled by a wacky megalomaniac)
  there is some real movement here. (buries the
  best part of the sentence!)

92
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash exercise

• Finally, the lessons of clinical epidemiology are
  not meant to be limited to academic
  physician-epidemiologists, who sometimes have
  more interest in analyzing data than caring for
  patients. Clinical epidemiology holds the
  promise of providing clinicians with the tools
  necessary to improve the outcomes of their
  patients.

93
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash

• Finally, the lessons of clinical epidemiology are
  not meant to be limited to academic
  physician-epidemiologists, who sometimes have
  more interest in analyzing data than caring for
  patients. Clinical epidemiology holds the
  promise of providing clinicians with the tools
  necessary to improve the outcomes of their
  patients.

94
Scientific Writing, HRP 214The Dash join and
condense

• Finally, clinical epidemiology is not limited to
  academic physician-epidemiologistswho are
  sometimes more interested in analyzing data than
  caring for patients-but provides clinicians with
  the tools to improve their patients outcomes.

95
Scientific Writing, HRP 214 The Dash some
technical details

• HYPHEN (1 unit) to connect compound words or
  non-range numbers to break word that will
  continue on next line
• ? little-known fact, en-dash, 723-8222
• EN-DASH (2 units) to indicate range (numbers,
  dates, time) or collaboration
• ? pages 1 9 , open 9 am 5 pm, MorrisHayes
  lab, SinoSoviet pact
• ? not a compound name of an individual, as in
  Catherine Zeta-Jones
• EM-DASH (3 units) to represent a sudden break in
  thought that causes an abrupt change in sentence
  structure
• ? The m-dash is longerthe length of the letter
  m.

96
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Lesson 2 Use Parallel Construction

97
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Unparallel
• Locusts denuded fields in Utah, rural Iowa was
  washed away by torrents, and in Arizona the
  cotton was shriveled by the placing heat.
• Vs.
• Parallel
• Locusts denuded fields in Utah, torrents washed
  away rural Iowa, and blazing heat shriveled
  Arizonas cotton.

98
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Make a choice and abide by it!

99
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Pairs of ideastwo ideas joined by and, or,
  or butshould be written in parallel form.
• Cardiac input decreased by 40 but
• blood pressure decreased by only 10.
• SVX but SVX

100
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Pairs of ideastwo ideas joined by and or or
  butshould be written in parallel form.
• We hoped to increase the response and
• to improve survival.
• Infinitive phrase and infinitive phrase.

101
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Lists of ideas (and number lists of ideas) should
  be written in parallel form.

102
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Parallelism

• Not Parallel
• If you want to be a good doctor, you must study
  hard, critically think about the medical
  literature, and you should be a good listener.
• Parallel
• If you want to be a good doctor you must study
  hard, listen well, and think critically about the
  medical literature. (imperative, imperative,
  imperative)
• Parallel
• If you want to be a good doctor, you must be a
  good student, a good listener, and a critical
  thinker about the medical literature. (noun,
  noun, noun)

103
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Parallelism

• Not Parallel
• This research follows four distinct phases (1)
  establishing measurement instruments (2) pattern
  measurement (3) developing interventions and (4)
  the dissemination of successful interventions to
  other settings and institutions.
• Parallel
• This research follows four distinct phases (1)
  establishing measurement instruments (2)
  measuring patterns (3) developing interventions
  and (4) disseminating successful interventions to
  other settings and institutions.

104
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Lesson 3 The case of the buried predicate
• One study of 930 adults with multiple sclerosis
  (MS) receiving care in one of two managed care
  settings or in a fee-for-service setting found
  that only two-thirds of those needing to contact
  a neurologist for an MS-related problem in the
  prior 6 months had done so (Vickrey et al 1999).

105
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• The case of the buried predicate
• One study found that, of 930 adults with
  multiple sclerosis (MS) who were receiving care
  in one of two managed care settings or in a
  fee-for-service setting, only two-thirds of those
  needing to contact a neurologist for an
  MS-related problem in the prior six months had
  done so (Vickrey et al 1999).

106
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• In-Class Writing Exercise
• In pairs (try to pick someone in the class that
  you dont know well), interview each other to
  find out
• What brought you to Stanfordspiritually,
  literally, or otherwise?
• Then take 10 minutes to write up a 1-2 paragraph
  mini profile (SHORT, PUNCHY, CLEVER, HUMOROUS) of
  the other person. Use at least one dash or colon
  and at least one sentence with parallel
  construction.

107
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• And finally
• This weeks top 5 countdown

108
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 1. Farther v. further
• Farther is used for distance. (think far)
• Further is used for time or quantity. (think
  future)
• I can throw a ball farther than you.
• I am pursuing that research further.

109
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• Other similar words
• FORWARD v. FORWARDS v. FOREWORD
• TOWARD v. TOWARDS
• ? Some sources prefer adverbs forward and toward
  to forwards and towards (a bit more formal
  without the s s more common in UK) foreword
  preface to a book

110
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 2. Die of v. die from
• People and animals die of, not from, specific
  diseases.
• She died of a heart attack.

111
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 3. compliment v. complement
• Compliment is to praise or to present with a
  token of esteem.
• Complement is to mutually complete each other.
• She complimented his haircut.
• That dress complements your eyes.
• In complement, think of complete-ment
• proteins completing antibodies (complement
  cascade), angles combining to reach 90 degrees,
  or musical intervals completing an octave

112

113
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• A comic interlude, for illustration
• A man walks into a bar and sits down. He orders
  a beer and begins to drink it, when he hears a
  mysterious voice You're looking very handsome
  this evening. The man looks around, but theres
  no one else nearby. That suit is quite
  magnificent," continues the voice. And what a
  delightful tie!  
• The man calls the bartender over and confides,
  somewhat sheepishly, I keep hearing voices but I
  don't seem to be able to work out where they're
  coming from!
• The bartender replies, "It's the nuts, sir.
  They're complimentary."

114
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 4. Comprise v. compose
• Comprise means to contain. Comprise implies a
  complete listing, whereas include may signal an
  incomplete listing.
• Compose means to make up.
• The parts compose (make up) the whole the whole
  comprises (contains) the parts.
• The USA comprises 50 states. (the whole contains
  the parts)
• Fifty states compose the USA. (the parts make
  up the whole)
• The USA is composed of 50 states. (the whole is
  made up of the parts)
• Fifty states are comprised in the USA. (the parts
  are contained in the whole)

115
Scientific Writing, HRP 214

• 5. locate v. localize
• Locate is to determine the position of something
  to find its location.
• Localize is to confine or fix in a particular
  area or part.
• The police located the suspect at the edge of
  town.
• Iodine tends to localize in the thyroid.

116
Scientific Writing, HRP 214HOMEWORK

• Read Chapters 11-12 in Sin and Syntax.
• Chapter 5-6 of SS Writing (pp. 99-118)
• Paragraph re-writing exercise
• 3-4 unit students
• Begin preliminary work on your chosen
  manuscript, paper, thesis, or grant proposal in
  preparation for the 2nd half of the course.

117
Scientific Writing, HRP 214Preview to next time

• For next time
• We continue our systematic review of the basics
  of writing.
• Words? sentences? paragraphs