Friendship

1
Friendship

• Becoming a successful friendship coach
• A Parent Meeting
• This PowerPoint presentation was developed to
  encourage parent participation and discussion
  about the social development of children. This
  information on learning how to become a
  successful friendship coach for children is
  designed to occur in an adult learning
  environment where parents can share their own
  experiences with other families at the parent
  meeting.

2
Thinking back

• Warm-up Activity Turn to the person next to you
  and try and answer the following questions to the
  best of your ability. After discussing with your
  neighbor any volunteers who would like to
  share their story with the whole group will be
  encouraged.
• Who do you remember being your first friend
• How old were you
• How did you know each other (school
  neighborhood church temple your parents
  friends)
• What do you remember doing with this friend
• Is this person still in your life today if not
  do you remember what caused the friendship to end
  and how old were you when you stopped being
  friends
• What kind of impact did this friend have on you

3
Typical characteristics of a young childs
friendship.

• Friends typically seek each other out prefer to
  be together and enjoy each others company. In
  the research world friendships are typically
  indicated by mutuality that is each partner
  considers the other as the best friend.
• Howes C. (1988). Peer interaction of young
  children. Monographs of the Society for Research
  in Child Development 53(1).
• The younger the children the more on-again
  off-again their friendships are. Young
  friendships are not just made up of positive
  emotions. Three year olds and four years old
  tend to hold hands one minute and the next minute
  yell You arent my friend.
• www.umaine.edu/research/UMTBestFriend.htm

4
How to be an effective friendship coach

• Teach your child to pick up on social cues
• Help your child develop empathy
• Dont ignore mean behavior
• Take action to patch up problems
• Let kids choose their friends
• www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3293.jsp

5
Role play activities

• Split up into groups of three or four parents.
  Each group will come up with some ideas related
  to their topic of how to facilitate and be a good
  coach to their children in developing
  friendships.
• Each group will be assigned one topic from the
  list of How to be an effective friendship
  coach. The following 10s will be used as
  a guide to each groups discussion.
• After the role play is completed one person from
  the group will act as spokesperson and share
  with the rest of the group the ideas they came up
  with.

6
Teach children to pick up on social cues.

• Encourage your child to notice how others are
  reacting and to recognize the signals that
  something about their behavior is not working.
• Role Play You just observed your child telling a
  story to two other children in his/her class.
  Neither of the children are paying any attention
  to your child but your child does not seem to
  notice and continues on with the story. How can
  you talk to your child and make them more aware
  of social cues.

7
Some ideas

• Ask my child if the two other children liked her
  story. Children are not often aware that people
  are not interested in what they are saying.
  Nonetheless this is an important skill for
  children to be aware of.
• Your ideas

8
Help your child develop empathy

• Children are not born with the ability to
  understand and appreciate others feelings.

• Role play You just overheard your child make a
  comment to one of his playmates Your drawing is
  ugly. Your child has no idea that this has just
  hurt his friends feelings. What are some ways
  you can talk to your child about his comment

9
Some suggestions

• Put your child in his classmates shoes. Ask
  him/her how would you feel if your friend told
  you your picture was ugly Would you be sad
  Would your feelings be hurt
• Other suggestions

10
Dont ignore mean behavior

• When you see or are informed that your child has
  participated in mean behavior it is important to
  be clear that kind of behavior is not acceptable.

• Role Play Your childs teacher informs you that
  your child participated in teasing one of his/her
  classmates about the hole in her shoe. How do
  you respond to your child after learning of the
  behavior

11
Brainstorm

• Explain to your child that kind of behavior is
  not right. Hurting peoples feelings and
  laughing about it is not acceptable.
• Other ideas

12
Take action to patch up problems

• Children should learn to solve arguments and
  disputes early on in their lives.
• Role play Your child comes home and is upset
  because his/her classmate took his favorite book
  and wouldnt share it. What could you say to
  your child to help them figure out what would
  have been an appropriate way to solve the problem.

13
Any thoughts

• Ask your child what they did when his/her
  favorite book was taken. Ask them if the
  approach they used was successful. Ask them what
  they think may have been a better way to solve
  the problem
• Other thoughts

14
Let your child choose their own friends.

• Children just like adults have preferences to
  the people they consider to be their friends.
• Role play Your child comes home after playing
  with his/her best friend and tells you that they
  are no longer friends. What is your reaction and
  response

15
Anyone

• Ask what happened and why they decided not to be
  friends anymore. Maybe suggest that they just
  take a break from each other and not spend as
  much time together. Sometimes children just want
  to know it is okay that they have a choice to not
  be friends with someone.
• Other advice

16
What families can do

• Make friendship development a family priority
• Become acquainted with other families
• Schedule play dates
• Invite children into homes and on outings
• Learn about the individual needs of children
• Discuss childrens friendships at home
• Be a good role model
• Encourage positive social interactions
• http//ici.umn.edu/products/impact/162/over6.html

17
What teachers can do

• Include social skills in the curricula
• Provide opportunities for families to become
  acquainted
• Train school personnel on childrens friendships
• Inform parents when friendships begin to develop
• http//ici.umn.edu/products/impact/162/over6.html

18
Lets plan

• Wrap up Activity Work in groups of three to
  plan your childrens next social event.
• Keep in Simple
• Be Creative
• Keep expenses to a minimum
• Have other families get involved
• Make sure to answer the questions
• Who What Where Why When

19
Ideas for the next parent meeting

• Discuss how play facilitates social development
  and friendship
• Common problems that arise when children play
  together (sharing jealousy etc.)
• The next fews will be a sneak peak into
  the next parent meetings on social development.

20
Play Facilitates Friendships

• Parallel Play
• Child individually plays with toys similar to
  those used by other children nearby
• Associative Play
• Child engages in the same activity as other
  children but in an unorganized disassociated
  way
• Cooperative Play
• Children organize in a group for some purpose.
  Give and take interaction where not only
  materials are shared but also ideas and goals.
• Eliason C. Jenkins L. (2003). A Practical
  Guide to Early Childhood Curriculum. Upper
  Saddle River New Jersey Pearson Education Inc.

21
Play works

• Pretend play
• Teaches children about different emotions a
  skill very important for building and maintaining
  friendships.
• A child can dress up like a pirate or princess
  and explore the different emotions that may go
  along with the character.
• Role playing also gives children a chance to
  experience being someone else.
• www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3087.jsp

22
Troubleshooting What about sharing

• What to do if you child doesnt share.
• Make sure your child has lots of chances to
  interact and socialize and practice sharing.
• During playdates DO NOT constantly tell kids to
  share. It is better to say Youve been
  playing with that doll for a long time maybe you
  should let your friend have a chance.
• Have duplicates of favorite toys to prevent
  squabbles.
• Share in front of your child at home with other
  family members.
• www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3074.jsp

23
References

• www.umaine.edu/research/UMTBestFriend.htm
• www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3293.jsp
• www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3087.jsp
• http//ici.umn.edu/products/impact/162/over6.html
• http//ici.umn.edu/products/impact/162/over6.html
• www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3074.jsp
• Eliason C. Jenkins L. (2003). A Practical
  Guide to Early Childhood Curriculum. Upper
  Saddle River New Jersey Pearson Education Inc.
• Howes C. (1988). Peer interaction of young
  children. Monographs of the Society for Research
  in Child Development 53(1).