TOP TEN TIPOFFS FOR AN UNSUCCESSFUL HAZMAT PROGRAM

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TOP TEN TIP-OFFS FOR AN UNSUCCESSFUL HAZMAT
PROGRAM
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• HAZMAT needs strong Leadership with top leaders
  giving full support

• You find out that the HAZMAT leadership consists
  of Jim Belushi, Richard Simmons, and Jim Carrey

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• You find out that your organizations have
  decided to incorporate Martha Stewarts Home
  Living Guide into their Operating Instructions
  (OI).

• Our base plan details the organizations
  responsibilities for controlling and tracking
  hazardous materials for each organizations
  customized Operating Instructions (OI).

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• When you receive your Government Purchase Card
  bill in the mail, you see bogus charges from
  www.XXX.com and your network security managers
  IP address beside it.

• We provide training for all Issue Point managers
  and Government Purchase Card holders to insure
  proper purchasing procedures are followed.

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• Your LCI Supply Store has been converted to a
  Bath and Body Works shop because the one at the
  mall was too far of a drive for the Base
  Commanders Wife.

• The new LCI Store supplies all hazardous
  materials needed by each Issue Point to perform
  their daily operations.

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• After your Issue Points (IP) annual inspection,
  you find that the Hazardous Waste has fermented
  into Vodka.

• Each Issue Point is required to properly store
  their HAZMATS in an approved flammable storage
  locker.

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• Homer Simpson has been managing your Issue Point
  (IP)

• Eglins HAZMAT cell convenes an informative
  meeting quarterly for new cross-feed information
  about the HAZMAT Pharmacy Program.

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• When replacing the office coffee, you realize
  somebody used the AF audit form as the last
  filter.

• Our commitment to the program led to a
  successful AF audit by the AF audit agency.

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• When heading out to the runway, your team grabs
  their tackle box instead of their HAZMAT KIT.

• HAZMAT Kits utilized in daily operations has
  proven to be the highlight of our program.
  Without these, our workers would be forced to
  receive one item at a time.

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• When your team runs out of Kit supplies, they
  decide to call Tom and see what hole to join him
  on at the Country Club, leaving the Kits to
  replace themselves.

• HAZMAT Kits when issued out, can now have any
  one item removed and replaced without the return
  of the entire Kit through In-Use Replacements.

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• You really know you are in trouble when you call
  your HAZMAT spill response team and they have
  been out on the golf course drinking since
  yesterday afternoon.

• A team of dedicated and experienced personnel
  constitute the framework of our strong HAZMAT
  Management Program for Eglin AFB.

And the Number One Tip-Off for an Unsuccessful
HAZMAT Program is.
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