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Divorce

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Title: Divorce


1
Divorce
  • For the LORD God
    of Israel says That He
    hates divorce, For it
    covers one's garment with violence, Says the
    LORD of hosts. Therefore take heed to your
    spirit, That you do not deal treacherously.
  • Malachi 216

2
Background
  • Sermon preached by Bobby Holmes at the Northside
    church of Christ in Mansfield, TX on June 26th,
    2005.
  • Subject Marriage, Divorce Remarriage
  • Brother Holmes taught some things regarding
    Divorce (without remarriage) in the lesson that
    were cause for concern.
  • This teaching is the subject of the lesson today

3
Background - 2
  • At the time of the lesson, we were supporting
    Bobby Holmes, and Gregg Madden
  • As a result of Bobbys lesson, and the aftermath
    of that lesson regarding events that happened at
    the Northside congregation, we received reports
    from Bobby and Gregg that differed in their
    perspective of the situation.

4
B. Holmes Support Letter
  • On the down side, we had two families leave
    because they disagreed with the Truth taught here
    on marriage and divorce. This was after several
    weeks of studies with them failed to produce any
    change. The law of God is clear on the subject.
    One man one woman for life with one exception.
    If one leaves their mate for ANY reason other
    than fornication, they have two options. Remain
    unmarried or be reconciled. (cf. 1 Cor.
    710-11).
  • July 2005 Report

5
G. Madden Support Letter
  • Sad to say, we have heard of two congregations
    in the past couple of weeks that have split over
    simple issues of divorce and remarriage. In one
    case the brethren stood for the Truth In the
    other case the few that stood for Gods Word were
    shown the door and told that they would not be
    allowed to speak on the matter publicly before
    the congregation. We pray for the brethren who
    stood for the truth on these issues. We also
    pray for those that opposed the truth that they
    might come to repentance soon.
  • July 2005 Report

6
Background - 3
  • The elders were uncomfortable with supporting two
    men who were clearly on different sides of the
    issue, and determined it important to look into
    the matter more fully
  • First step taken Private studies between Stan
    Cox and Bobby Holmes, where the issue was
    discussed.
  • Stan wrote two separate documents, discussing the
    issue, and gave them to brother Holmes

7
Background - 4
  • Second step When the issue was not reconciled,
    the elders had two studies with brother Holmes.
  • At the end of the first of the two studies, the
    elders (at that time brother Gilliland was not
    serving as an elder), wrote a letter to Brother
    Holmes, indicating that his support from our
    congregation would cease.

8
Excerpt from Letter
  • After our meeting with you, and our discussion
    of the lesson you preached at the Northside
    congregation, it is evident that we have
    differences with regard to the exegesis of
    several passages, as well as what the scriptures
    teach on the subject of divorce.
  • While we remain ready and willing to continue
    any study with you on such matters, unfortunately
    these differences have the potential to cause
    conflict within the West Side congregation. In
    our role as shepherds of this congregation, we
    feel it best to protect the church by taking this
    step
  • continued

9
Excerpt from Letter
  • We retain great personal affection for you, and
    respect your integrity and honesty. We are
    saddened at taking this step, and pledge a
    willingness to continue our study of these
    matters with you, if you so desire, and on our
    own.
  • It is our prayer that at some future date we
    will all have a more perfect understanding of
    such issues that will enable us to resolve our
    differences. We pray for Gods favor upon each
    of us as we struggle to understand Gods will on
    such difficult matters
  • (January 11, 2006)

10
Background - 5
  • Brother Gallman took the additional step to call
    brother Holmes before the delivery of the letter.
  • He told brother Holmes of the letter, and
    repeated the confidence expressed in that letter
    regarding Bobbys integrity and honesty
  • He further indicated that a second component
    (which also led to the rescinding of brother
    Maddens support) was the need to reduce outside
    support due to financial considerations.

11
Background - 6
  • The second study with brother Holmes came after
    the letter was sent and received.
  • Neither of the two studies, nor email exchanges
    between brother Holmes and Stan Cox have led to
    any perceivable headway in resolving the
    differences in teaching.
  • The pledge to continue study on this matter
    remains to this day.

12
Background - 7
  • Due to Bobbys teaching, the elders did not feel
    comfortable endorsing his efforts, and continuing
    our fellowship in his preaching.
  • His support has been rescinded, and the West Side
    congregation no longer has any ties with him in
    his preaching work.
  • As an autonomous congregation we have this right.
  • The elders have this right to exercise their
    judgment in this matter.

13
Background - 8
  • Bobby Holmes recognizes these rights. While he
    disagrees with the position we have taken
    regarding these issues, he has expressed his
    understanding that the elders have acted in a way
    in keeping with their scriptural right.
  • He has spoken and written of his confidence in
    the character and integrity of the elders at West
    Side.

14
Background - 9
  • Materials available to the congregation (if
    requested)
  • Audio of this sermon, and handout of slides
  • Audio of Bobby Holmes sermon (6/26/05)
  • Support letters from Holmes and Madden
  • Bulletin articles written by Stan Cox on the
    subject of Divorce (with exegesis of Matt. 19
    Matt. 5 1 Cor. 7 Luke 18)
  • Further study if needed
  • If you have questions, or would like to study
    further with the elders, let them know

15
An Admonition to Us All
  • Issues such as these always have potential to
    divide brethren.
  • Our treatment of this issue should be with love
    and deference to one another.
  • Their should be light, not heat on this matter.
  • The appeal must be to Gods word, rather than
    men.
  • We must not allow this to be a cause of
    dissension or unrest in our congregation.

16
The Issue
  • Is there any other exception
    other than the one
    explicitly stated in Matthew
    19, wherein a Christian may divorce his or
    her spouse without sinning. (It is accepted that
    sexual immorality is the sole exception that
    would allow for the innocent party to remarry).

17
Areas of Agreement
  • (Claimed areas of agreement, as per Bobby Holmes.
    Presented in second study)
  • Do we not all agree that Gods law for marriage
    is one man for one woman for life with one
    exception?
  • I firmly believe and advocate that Christ must
    be put first in every relationship including
    marriage. Conceivably, situations CAN arise
    where that relationship must be sundered or
    leave in order to keep Christ and His kingdom
    first.
  • Now, please tell me wherein we are in
    disagreement?

18
The Contention
  • Gods law on marriage, divorce remarriage is a
    specific law, with one specific, explicitly
    stated exception to the law.
  • Gods law on marriage and divorce (when
    remarriage is not considered) is a general law.
    And there are factors which may allow for at
    least one unstated exception.
  • (Bobbys reference, Eph. 524)

19
Ephesians 524
  • Therefore, just as the church is
    subject to Christ, so let the wives
    be to their own husbands in everything.
  • Bobby contends
  • There are exceptions to the everything of
    Ephesians 524
  • There are exceptions to Gods law regarding
    divorce.

20
Problems with the Argument
  • It is only an assertion that God has two laws,
    one for remarriage, one without remarriage.
    (Invalid, as we will prove).
  • It is only an assertion that Gods law regarding
    divorce only is a general one, allowing for
    non-explicit exceptions. (Unproveable, but moot
    point, as the first contention is not true).
  • If one non-explicit exception is allowed, why not
    many? Who determines the validity of any
    particular exception?

21
Further Problems
  • Ephesians 524 sets man (delegated authority) VS
    God (ultimate authority).
  • Bobbys argument, however, sets God against God
  • God says, I hate divorce (cf. Mal. 216)
  • God says, Divorce O.K. (Holmes contention)
  • Parallel to Mormon Doctrine of Mental Reservation
  • God says, Lying is a sin (cf. Rev. 218)
  • God says, Lying O.K. (Mormon contention)
  • Parallel to Jewish Traditions (cf. Mk. 79-13)

22
Mark 79-13
  • He said to them, "All too well you reject
    the commandment of God, that you may
    keep your tradition. 10 For Moses said, 'Honor
    your father and your mother' and, 'He who curses
    father or mother, let him be put to death. 11
    "But you say, 'If a man says to his father or
    mother, "Whatever profit you might have received
    from me is Corban"-' (that is, a gift to God), 12
    then you no longer let him do anything for his
    father or his mother, 13 making the word of God
    of no effect through your tradition which you
    have handed down. And many such things you do."

23
A Discussion of Verses Which Bear on our Subject
  • Matthew 193-9
  • Matthew 532
  • Luke 1829-30
  • 1 Corinthians 710-11

24
Matthew 193-9
  • The Pharisees also came to Him,
    testing Him, and saying to Him, Is it
    lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just
    any reason? 4 And He answered and said to them,
    Have you not read that He who made them at the
    beginning made them male and female, 5 and
    said, For this reason a man shall leave his
    father and mother and be joined to his wife, and
    the two shall become one flesh? 6 So then, they
    are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what
    God has joined together, let not man separate. 7
    They said to Him, Why then did Moses command to
    give a certificate of divorce, and to put her
    away?

25
Matthew 193-9, cont
  • 8 He said to them, Moses, because
    of the hardness of your hearts,
    permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the
    beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you,
    whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual
    immorality, and marries another, commits
    adultery and whoever marries her who is divorced
    commits adultery.

26
Matthew 531-32
  • Furthermore it has been said, Whoever
    divorces his wife, let him give her
    a certificate of divorce. 32 But I say to you
    that whoever divorces his wife for any reason
    except sexual immorality causes her to commit
    adultery and whoever marries a woman who is
    divorced commits adultery.

27
Commentary Quotes
  • Fowler indicates that she (the divorced wife) is
    the unfortunate victim of a vicious system which
    subjects her to the caprice of her husband. What
    is unequivocally clear is that the stigma of
    adultery is related to her remarriage.
  • Bible Study Textbook Series, Matthew, Volume 1,
    page 281

28
Commentary Quotes
  • Boles is bold in his assessment of Jesus
    teaching He is clear on this point he lays
    down his teaching here with entire precision he
    admits but one valid ground for divorce, namely
    fornication. Whoever puts away his wife for any
    other reason tempts her to marry again Jesus
    assumes that the pretended divorce goes for
    nothing that she is still his wife, and that
    marrying again involves adultery. Not only does
    she become an adulteress, but whoever shall marry
    her becomes an adulterer.
  • New Testament Commentaries, Gospel Advocate,H.
    Leo Boles, Matthew, page 143.

29
Commentary Quotes
  • The mere fact of divorce did not make her an
    adulteress, but it brought her into a state of
    disgrace from which she invariably sought to free
    herself by contracting another marriage, and this
    other marriage to which her humiliating situation
    drove her made her an adulteress
  • McGarvey, Pendleton, The Fourfold Gospel, page 242

30
Commentary Quotes
  • (4) Our Lord showed how this conduct operated
    against the Law. It made an adulteress of the
    divorced wife for it treated her as though she
    has been such. It exposed her to the temptation
    to commit adultery. Bound by the law of her
    husband during this natural life, even did she
    marry another she would be an adulteress (see
    Rom. vii.1-3). By parity of reasoning, whoever
    married her would be an adulterer. The proper
    husband is responsible as the cause of all these
    consequences
  • Pulpit Commentary, Matthew, page 217

31
Matthew 531-32
  • Furthermore it has been said, Whoever
    divorces his wife, let him give her
    a certificate of divorce. 32 But I say to you
    that whoever divorces his wife for any reason
    except sexual immorality causes her to commit
    adultery and whoever marries a woman who is
    divorced commits adultery.
  1. No remarriage (for the whoever) in the context
    of this verse
  2. Answers our question! For any reason except
    sexual immorality (Divorcer guilty!)

32
Luke 1828-30
  • Then Peter said, See, we have left
    all and followed You. 29 So He said to
    them, Assuredly, I say to you,
    there is no one who has left house or parents or
    brothers or wife or children, for the sake of the
    kingdom of God, 30 who shall not receive many
    times more in this present time, and in the age
    to come eternal life.

33
Problems with the Argument
  • Divorce is not mentioned explicitly, and is not
    at all in the context of Luke 18.
  • Whatever the leaving is, Peter had done it! (And
    yet, Peter led about a wife cf. 1 Corinthians
    95)
  • If you can divorce for the kingdoms sake, then
    you can also abandon your children, and abdicate
    your responsibility to you parents (cf. Mk. 7)
  • Is sin sometimes not sin? (Sit. Ethics?)

34
1 Corinthians 710-11
  • Now to the married I command, yet
    not I but the Lord A wife is not
    to depart from her husband. 11 But even if she
    does depart, let her remain unmarried or be
    reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not
    to divorce his wife.

35
Problems with the Argument
  • The context indicates that Paul was repeating
    Jesus teaching, not establishing a new teaching.
    (cf. vs. 10)
  • We have already seen that there are no second
    exceptions in Matt. 19 or 5.
  • There is nothing in the passage which requires
    this action to be sinless (arguing from silence
    proves nothing)
  • Same instructions would be given to one who
    divorces for frivolous reasons
  • Paul was dealing with a question concerning the
    state of the marital relationship

36
Commentary Quotes
  • (vs. 10), Whereas in vv. 8-9 Paul has simply
    given his advice since whether one marries or not
    is an optional matter, in this verse Paul
    commands. Paraggello is a verb meaning to
    order, command, direct or charge. There are no
    options left for this person he simply obeys the
    Lord or stands in rebellion to him (emphasis
    mine, SC)
  • Mike Willis, 1 Corinthians, pages 98-99

37
Commentary Quotes
  • The statement but if she depart (ean de kai
    choristhe) describes an exception whether past,
    present, or future. In the event that the wife
    (or husband) leaves her husband (or wife), then
    she (or he) must remain unmarried. Paul
    recognized that, in spite of the commandments,
    emphasis mine, SC, some would nevertheless
    choose not to live together. In such cases,
    there were only two alternatives available. (1)
    To remain single or (2) be reconciled to ones
    mate
  • Mike Willis, 1 Corinthians, pages 98-99

38
Commentary Quotes
  • This passage undoubtedly teaches that the
    believer is to take no steps to hinder the
    restoration of the marriage relations, but to be
    ready to seek to restore them. Divorce is
    intended to make the separation permanent and to
    make unlawful marriage possible. No Christian
    can do this. Nothing severs the marriage
    relationship between Christians save the sin of
    adultery.
  • David Lipscomb, 1 Corinthians
  • Gospel Advocate Commentaries

39
More problems
  • The context strongly denies the right to divorce.
  • not to depart (vs. 10) not to divorce (vs.
    11) let him not divorce (vs. 12) let her not
    divorce (vs. 13).
  • Coach, Dont turn the ball over, but if you do,
    hustle back on defense. (Doesnt indicate that
    in certain circumstances, turnovers are OK).
  • Though a Christian can allow a non-believer to
    depart (vs. 15), there is no authority to seek a
    divorce.

40
Conclusion
  • Nowhere in scripture is there a valid rationale
    for Christians to divorce without sinning,
    except for sexual immorality (cf. Matthew
    199).
  • While we retain our deep affection for brother
    Holmes, we can not endorse his teaching, and must
    defend the truth against any error taught.
  • We must treat others (including one another) with
    kindness and patience.
  • If you have questions, talk with the elders. May
    God bless us with peace at West Side.

41
Gods Law for Marriage
  • One Man
  • One Woman
  • For Life
  • With one exception
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