Attraction and Close Relationships Chapter 10

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Attraction and Close RelationshipsChapter 10
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Announcements

• Extra Credit assignment 3! Evaluate a magazine
  ad - Due Tues Nov 20th
• Final paper should be TYPED, PROOFREAD, STAPLED
  and no more than 2 pages double spaced
• Dont forget to turn in the magazine ad with your
  paper!!!

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Major Question about Relationships

• Where does love go? Why do happy couples become
  unhappy couples?

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What is a successful intimate relationship?

• Two components of a successful relationship
• Stability the relationship does not end in
  breakup
• Satisfaction the relationship fulfills the need
  of both partners

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Are relationships stable?

• Problems with studying dating relationships
• Statistics on the stability of marital
  relationships
• When do marriages end?
• Consequences of instability

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Building a Model of Relationship Change
Marital Dissolution
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Initial Satisfaction
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Where does love go? Where did it come from?

• Attraction what attracts you to someone else?
• Physical attractiveness
• Computer dating study
• Attractiveness 1 predictor of desire for second
  date!

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Just how attractive do we want our partner to be?

• Dating service study
• Matching hypothesis
• People are attracted to those of equal physical
  attractiveness
• However, if no fear of rejection, we prefer the
  most attractive person available

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Why is physical attractiveness so important?

• Halo effect (What is beautiful is good)
• Knowing about one quality makes you assume that
  you know a lot about other qualities
• Attractive school children study
• Attractiveness of defendants

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How Can You Look Attractive?

• Attractiveness can depend on context
• Assimilation and contrast effects
• Couples photograph study
• Rate man standing next to attractive woman
• ½ told unrelated ½ told he was boyfriend
• Same sex friend study
• Friends assimilation strangers - contrast

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The Effect of Personality on Attraction

• We like those with positive attributes
• So, do we like the most perfect people?
• Pratfall effect - we like people who are almost
  perfect but have some faults

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Other Factors that Affect Attraction

• Familiarity
• mere exposure effect (Zajonc) We tend to rate
  novel stimuli better after we have been
  repeatedly exposed to it.

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Other Factors that Affect Attraction

• Reciprocity - We like those who like us
• But do we like those who immediately like us?
• Condition 1 they like you from the start
• Condition 2 they never like you
• Condition 3 they like you, then dont
• Condition 4 they dont like you, then do
• We like those who we must win over!

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What do all of these factors have in common?

• Rewards and costs!
• So where does this get us?
• Attraction is not the answer - The forces that
  draw us together are not the ones that eventually
  pull us apart!