Nonverbal Communication:

1
Lecture 12

• Nonverbal Communication
• Silence Listening
• and
• Communicating with Non-native English speakers

2
Overview of Silence

• People in every culture experience silence in
  some form or another.
• However, peoples attitudes toward silence in
  each social and cultural group can be
  dramatically different.
• For example, many cultures of the world expect
  more silence from women and children than from
  adult men.
• Silence can have a positive or negative impact on
  the communication process.
• It can provide a peaceful situation by signaling
  agreement or create tension and uneasiness.

3
Causing Silence

• People cause others to be silent
• to gain attention
• to maintain control
• to protect
• to teach
• to attempt to eliminate distractions
• to show respect for authority or tradition
• to point to something greater than ourselves or
  our groups.
• Silence can be used as the language of
  super-iority and inferiority, affecting such
  relation-ships as teacher-follower, male-female,
  and expert-client.

4
Causing Silence (cont)

• Silencing someone can have both positive and
  negative effects.
• In some situations, silence is demanded by others
  and by those who must themselves be quiet.
• Often a sign of respect for the wisdom of others.
  
• The elderly persons in a family of many Eastern
  culture groups expect silence from the children
  and from less authoritative family members as a
  sign of respect.

5
Zones of Silence

• Zones of silence, or places where outside noise
  is controlled, are sometimes created as a way to
  make people silent.
• library
• museum
• concert hall
• funeral home
• And at certain times in
• court room
• large lecture hall

6
European and North American

• Northern European and North American societies
  are involved in linear progression.
• Even small amounts of silence are filled with
  action and doing.
• In these cultures, silence is seen as dark,
  negative and full of no things, all of which
  are not good.

7
Silence in East Asia

• Other cultural groups, such as those in East
  Asia, favor long silences.
• Silence is created more frequently than do those
  from some Western cultures.
• Often interrupt actions with long and deep
  silence.
• A famous Chinese philosopher, Lao Tsu, once said
  To talk little is natural.

8
Silence in East Asia (cont)

• Many women in Eastern cultures view their silent
  roles as very powerful.
• Some women see their silent roles as natural and
  cannot imagine speaking out unless something very
  bad is done to them personally.
• Shows the power of control in silence.
• Often not recognized or understood by those who
  value speech-as-power and by those who value
  assertiveness by all, equally and democratically.
  

9
Effective Reception

• The key to effective reception of messages is
  effective listening.
• Listening is a skill that can be learned to
  enhance clarity in message exchange.
• We spend 50 more time listening than we do
  talking.
• Better listening skills develop better speaking
  skills because of awareness.

10
Ineffective Listening

• Without listening to details and context,
  important information can be left out.
• Conflicts then arise.
• Overlooked information inhibits solutions and
  results in lost business time and revenue.
• Personal relationships will deteriorate.

11
Active Listening Guidelines

• Stop talking
• Have a reason for listening
• Create a supportive climate
• Make eye contact
• It is the number one priority. It lets the other
  person know you are paying attention.
• Use head body language such as nodding.
• Try not to translate what is being said into what
  you want to hear self-fulfilling prophecy.

12
Active Listening Guidelines (cont)

• Aim your body orientation, move responsively
• Pay attention to and actively search for meaning
  in nonverbal cues
• Seek information and ask questions
• Suspend judgment
• Use attentive silence and play to it
• Rate of thought 400-500 wpm
• Rate of speech 100-150 wpm
• Resist distractions
• Respond to content feelings

13
Active Listening Guidelines (cont)

• Focus on themes
• Paraphrase to assure clarity
• Give responsive sounds or paralanguage feedback.
• Sounds or murmurs to allow the speaker to know
  you are following his train of thought
• right, OK, uh-huh, yeah
• Give effective feedback
• Be specific, descriptive, timely, relevant
• Pay attention to possible gender differences
• Ask questions!

14
Asking Questions

• Dont use Closed Questions
• Is, Do, Has, Can, Will, Why
• These are questions that only require a yes or
  no answer.
• Use Open Questions
• Where, When, How, What, Who, Which

15
Effective Listening

• Real communication occurs when we listen while
  understanding the other persons point of view.
• Test yourself with a series of questions such as
  what did I learn from the other person? or
  who did more talking and listening?
• Evaluate your answers and decide how to improve
  your communication next time.

16
Effective Listening (cont)

• Effective listening is not for everyone.
• To deal with the non-effective listener, clarify
  what you want to say prior to speaking.
• If your ideas are clear, the listener is more
  likely to be receptive.
• Before meeting, give the to-be-listener an idea
  of what you want to discuss.

17
Communication through Eyes

• Nonverbal communication is always revealed
  through the eyes.
• Normal eye contact means communication is open.
• Looking down indicates rejection.
• Avoiding eye contact suggests that the person is
  not comfortable with the conversations topic or
  the other person.
• Stares can indicate dislike.
• A person may be sincere if the eyes move upward
  when discussing stories about the past. Eyes move
  upward to retrieve information.
• However, if the eyes move side to side when
  recalling information, the person is likely to be
  lying.

18
What Do I Do If They Do Not Speak My Language?

• Verbal behavior
• Clear, slow speech. Enunciate each word. Do not
  use colloquial expressions.
• Repetition. Repeat each important idea using
  different words to explain the same concept.
• Simple sentences. Avoid compound, long sentences.
• Active verbs. Avoid passive verbs.
• Nonverbal behavior
• Visual restatements. Use as many visual
  restatements as possible, such as pictures,
  graphs, tables, and slides.
• Gestures. Use more facial and hand gestures to
  emphasize the meaning of words.
• Demonstration. Act out as many themes as
  possible.
• Pauses. Pause more frequently.
• Summaries. Hand out summaries of your verbal
  presentation.

19
What Do I Do If They Do Not Speak My Language?
(cont)

• Attribution
• Silence. When there is silence, wait. Do not jump
  in to fill the silence. The other person is
  probably just thinking more slowly in the
  non-native language or translating.
• Intelligence. Do not equate poor grammar and
  mispronunciation with lack of intelligence it is
  usually a sign of second-language use.
• Differences. If unsure, assume difference, not
  similarity.
• Comprehension
• Understanding. Do not just assume that they
  understand assume that they do not understand.
• Checking comprehension. Have the other person
  repeat their understanding of the material back
  to you. Do not simply ask if they understand or
  not. Let them explain what they understand to you.

20
What Do I Do If They Do Not Speak My Language?
(cont)

• Design
• Breaks. Take more frequent breaks.
  Second-language comprehension is exhausting.
• Small modules. Divide the material into smaller
  modules.
• Longer time frame. Allocate more time for each
  module than usual in a monolingual program.
• Motivation
• Encouragement. Verbally and nonverbally encourage
  and reinforce speaking by nonnative language
  participants.
• Drawing out. Explicitly draw out marginal and
  passive participants.
• Reinforcement. Do not embarrass novice speakers.