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Bullying

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Title: Bullying


1
Bullying
  • By Melissa Benedetti, Justin Paysinger, Jennifer
    Cherrie, Nicole Mavrakakis, and Karin Hughes

2
What Does Bullying Look Like Today?
  • Physical
  • Pushing and shoving
  • Tripping
  • Kicking
  • Hitting and slapping
  • Pinching
  • Verbal
  • Name-calling
  • Teasing
  • Threats
  • Racist, sexist, or bigoted remarks

3
What Does Bullying Look Like Today? (Continued)
  • Relational
  • Intimidation
  • Spreading rumors or lies
  • Exclusion
  • Coercion
  • Cyberbullying
  • Instant messages
  • Text messages
  • Postings on social networking sites and
    blogs-photos, negative messages, etc.

4
Behaviors Known As Bullying
  • Acting like they rule the world
  • Acting rude
  • Bossing people around
  • Cheating
  • Forcing people to hand over their money or
    possessions
  • Gossiping
  • Humiliating, ignoring, intimidating, laughing,
    harassing, insulting, threatening, embarrassing,
    teasing, or attacking people
  • Making obscene gestures
  • Making racist or sexist comments
  • Making people feel invisible, helpless, inferior,
    or uncomfortable
  • Lying
  • Making people do things they dont want to do
  • Name calling
  • Hitting, kicking, pushing, or shoving

5
Behaviors Known As Bullying (Continued)
  • Picking on or attacking people because of their
    religion, race, gender, culture, family
    background, etc.
  • Refusing to talk to people
  • Saying or writing nasty things about people
  • Scaring or frightening people
  • Stealing
  • Telling mean jokes
  • Using physical violence
  • Acting mean
  • Bragging about being tough
  • Carrying weapons
  • Damaging or breaking peoples things
  • Rejecting people or leaving them out
  • Spreading rumors

6
Behaviors Known As Bullying (Continued)
  • Putting people down, hurting their feelings, or
    making fun of them
  • Saying sarcastic things to people
  • Swearing
  • Touching people in rude or abusive ways
  • Using verbal taunts
  • Picking on people that are different

7
Why Do Children Bully Others?
  • Bullies are aggressive children
  • View violence as okay and feel this is how to
    interact with other children
  • Many are impulsive and active
  • Since parents or teachers dont know what to do,
    their behavior is ignored
  • Many actions go unpunished

8
Specific Reasons Why Children Bully Others
  • Name-calling
  • Uncontrolled anger
  • Revenge
  • Surrounded by violence
  • Poor social skills
  • Power, recognition, acceptance, and being cool
  • High/low self-esteem
  •   Poor role modeling
  • Entertainment, humor, relieve from boredom
  • Group bullying/hazing

9
What Happens to Bullies?
  •  
  • Life-long outlook is not good
  • Behavior can become a habit when they get older
  • By adolescence, bullying popularity slowly
    decreases
  • Aids in school drop out rate
  • By age 24, 60 of bullies have at least 1
    criminal conviction
  • Have more alcoholism, anti-social personalities,
    use more mental health services
  • Bully relationship partners, employees, and even
    their children
  •  

10
Rules For Telling the Difference Between Tattling
and Reporting
  • Children tattle when they want to
  • get someone in trouble
  • look good in someone elses eyes
  • get attention
  • have an adult solve their problems
  • Children report when they
  • want protection for themselves or someone else
  • want protection for their own or someone elses
    property
  • are scared
  • are in danger

11
Activity Time
  • I am going to read you a scenario and you are
    going to tell me whether you think it is tattling
    or reporting and why.

12
Possible Signs That Someone Is Being Bullied
  • Is frightened of walking to or from school
  • Doesnt want to go on the school or public bus
    begs to be driven to school
  • Changes their usual routine
  • Is unwilling to go to school
  • Becomes withdrawn, anxious, or lacks confidence
  • Starts stammering
  • Attempts or threatens suicide or runs away
  • Cries themselves to sleep at night or has
    nightmares
  • Feels ill in the morning
  • Begins to do poorly in school work
  • Comes home with clothes torn or books damaged
  • Has possessions that end up missing

13
Possible Signs That Someone Is Being Bullied
(continued)
  • Asks for money or starts stealing money to pay
    bully
  • Has unexplained cuts and bruises
  • Comes home starving because their money or lunch
    has been stolen
  • Becomes aggressive, disruptive, or unreasonable
  • Is bullying other children or siblings
  • Stops eating
  • Is frightened to say whats wrong
  • Note some of these behaviors can be indicators
    of other problems, but bullying should be
    considered a possibility.

14
What Parents Should Do If They Suspect Their
Child Is Being Bullied
  • Parents should
  • Encourage their child to report bullying
    incidents to them or to another adult they trust
  • Let their child know that they have made the
    right choice by reporting the incident and that
    they are not to blame
  • Validate their childs feelings by letting them
    know that what they are feeling is normal
  • Ask for who, what, where, and when
  • Ask their child to tell them how they have tried
    to stop the bullying
  • Tell their child to try to avoid the situation by
    playing in a different place or by playing a
    different game
  • Tell their child to stay near a supervising adult
    when bullying is likely to occur
  • Not ignore their childs report of the incident
  • Not advise their child to physically fight back
  • Not confront the child who bullies or the family
    of the child who bullies

15
What Parents Should Do If They Suspect Their
Child Is Being Bullied (Continued)
  • Parents should
  • Share their childs concerns and specific
    information about bullying incidents with
    appropriate school personnel
  • Work with the school staff to protect their child
    from possible retaliation
  • Establish a plan with their child and the school
    to deal with future bullying incidents
  • Encourage their child to seek help and to report
    bullying incidents to someone they feel safe with
    at school such as an adult in charge of a
    specific activity or area, a teacher, a
    counselor, or a principal
  • Find positive ways to encourage respectful
    behaviors at school by using school personnel and
    other parents as resources
  • Volunteer their time to help supervise the
    playground, the lunchroom, or field trips
  • Become an advocate for schoolwide bullying
    prevention programs and policies

16
What A Child Is Exposed To At Home Can Turn Them
Into A Bully
  • A parent who disciplines their child by hitting
    or yelling at them is teaching them to react in
    that way with other people. Parents are
    reinforced for these behaviors because they gain
    power and compliance.
  • Usually when a child exhibits bullying behavior
    in school it means that they have been a target
    of that behavior in the home.
  • Girls who observe their mothers practicing
    exclusion or manipulation of friends and family
    members and boys who observe their fathers
    handling disputes with a physical response are
    more likely to exhibit these same behaviors in
    school.
  • Parents also need to be aware of the language
    that their child hears at home because name
    calling is a favorite form of bulling behavior
    among some children.
  • A child who has bonded well with their parents
    and feels warmth and caring from them is much
    less likely to resort to bullying behavior with
    peers in school and elsewhere.

17
Vicarious Learning
  • What children are exposed to in the home can lead
    to vicarious learning.
  • Vicarious learning is when a person engages in a
    certain behavior because they saw someone else
    reinforced for that same behavior.

18
Project Cornerstone
  • Project Cornerstone is the Santa Clara
    County-wide collaborative working to mobilize our
    entire community to shift from reacting to
    children and youth as problems to connecting with
    them so they thrive. We aim to ensure that every
    aspect of our diverse community - individuals,
    businesses, community organizations, schools, and
    government - understand and embrace the fact that
    interacting with young people is important...and
    that every interaction makes a difference.
  • Middle School Districts
  • Alum Rock District, Berryessa District, Cambrian
    District, Los Gatos District, Milpitas District,
    Moreland District, San Jose Unified, Santa Clara
    District, Union District

19
Warm and Fuzzies
  • So what are warm fuzzies you wonder?  Warm
    Fuzzies are little pompoms with faces.  They
    represent a compliment, a feel good action, or a
    warm feeling you get when you make someone
    happy.  They have been popping up all over the
    county.  If you go to Schalenberger Elementary,
    Booksin Elementary, Willow Glen Elementary,
    Noddin Elementary or Allen at Steinbeck, you can
    ask any and every student what a warm fuzzy is
    and they will tell you.  If you were at the
    Willow Glen Carnival in October, they were being
    passed out to all who stopped at a booth. You can
    even go to Christmas in the Park and find them
    decorating a tree, compliments of Allen at
    Steinbeck Elementary School! 

20
Middle School
  • STUDENTS
  • Expect Respect Student Workshops for diverse
    students resulting in student-developed action
    plans for engaging their peers and partnering
    with school staff to create safe, caring, school
    climates, where bullying behavior is minimized.
    Follow up support and coaching is provided.
  • Cornerstone Clubs Students create action plans
    at a Project Cornerstone led "Expect Respect"
    workshop to help make their school a safe and fun
    place for all students to learn. Students take
    their plans a step further and develop
    Cornerstone Clubs at their schools to not only
    continue to promote caring school climates, but
    to foster the development of all the assets in
    their school environment.
  • Service Learning Based on curriculum focused on
    collecting and sharing oral history, Project
    Cornerstone supports schools to implement a year
    long or semester long class which connects youth
    with adults in their community.

21
Middle School
  • TEACHERS, ADMINISTRATORS, AND SCHOOL SUPPORT
    STAFF
  • Training on developmental assets and how they can
    be major asset builders in the lives of their
    students. By building positive relationships with
    students, creating a safe learning environment,
    and developing asset building programs and
    practices in their classrooms teachers and all
    school staff can build these critical
    developmental assets in their students.
  • Cornerstone Classes Project Cornerstone is
    available to provide consultation and curriculum
    guides for setting up a daily "Cornerstone class"
    during the school day.

22
Middle School
  • PARENTS AND OTHER CAREGIVERS
  • Training for parents and other caregivers in the
    importance of developmental assets in the lives
    of their children is provided at elementary,
    middle, and high school levels. Project
    Cornerstone staff work with school administrators
    to design the parent training as a good "fit" for
    each school community. The core of parent
    training is the "Taking Asset Building
    Personally" study group.
  • Websites
  • Teaching Tolerance -- Fight Hate and Promote
    Tolerance (teen site)National Mix it Up at Lunch
    Day is Tuesday, November 14, 2006www.tolerance.or
    g/teens/index.jsp
  • Stop Bullying Now! -- Take a Stand, Lend a Hand
    (mixed ages)www.stopbullyingnow.hrsa.gov
  • National Youth Violence Prevention Network
    (teens)www.safeyouth.org
  • PBS Kids network page (mixed ages)www.pbskids.org
    /itsmylife/school/index.html

23
Middle School
  • PARENTS AND OTHER CAREGIVERS (Continued)
  • Videos
  • Let's Get Real (ages 10-14) Available at
    www.womedia.org/letsgetreal.htm
  • ABC News Special The In Crowd and Social Cruelty
    (mixed ages)Available at www.pdassoc.com
  • Books
  • What Do You Stand For, For Teens? Barbara A.
    Lewis
  • Step By Step! A Young Persons Guide to Positive
    Community change, the Mosaic youth Center Board
    of directors with Jennifer Griffin-Wiesner

24
ABC Parents Program
  • Stands for Asset Building Champion Parents
    Program
  • It was created by Felecia Mulvany and was started
    in September of 2004.
  • She came up with the program after she took the
    study group called Taking Asset Building
    Personally through Project Cornerstone.
  • The program is free and schools need to provide
    the books that are used.
  • Parents have a 2 hour training about the assets
    and the program. It incorporates 28 of the 41
    assets.

25
ABC Parents Program (Continued)
  • The training has lots of resources about what
    bullying is and it mentions techniques on how to
    deal with it.
  • The parents then volunteer once a month for about
    45 minutes reading books in at least one
    classroom.
  • They also have monthly meetings that talk about
    bullying and bystander behavior. At these
    meetings parents share what has come up for them
    and their child.
  • The person in charge of the meeting then comes up
    with strategies that can be used to help.
  • Bullying is taught about at all grade levels
    informing parents that it happens from preschool
    on up.
  • They also inform them about what types of
    bullying there are and what behaviors constitute
    bullying.

26
Goals of the ABC Parents Program
  • Use literacy opportunities to share concepts of
    student-to-student respect.
  • Use literacy to create a common language and
    vocabulary about student respect for school
    community amongst all adults on campus, parents,
    and students.
  • Increase the skills of all students for dealing
    with physical, verbal, and relational bullying.
  • Increase student achievement, learning
    engagement, and interpersonal competence by
    improving school climate.
  • Increase the number of caring adults that
    students interact with at school to enable them
    to feel increased levels of support and value.
  • Increase the number of developmental assets in
    all children and parents.

27
Discussion
  • Would anybody like to share how their child may
    have been affected by bullying and what you did
    to help them through it?
  • If youre not a parent, do you know any parents
    who have had children who have been affected by
    bullying? How did those parents help their child?

28
Lesson Plan Key Points
  • Simons Hook
  • By Karen Gedig Burnett
  • To teach children how to be resilient and how to
    act or not react when mean things are said to
    them. The fish hook analogy allows the children
    to see teasing from a new objective angle.
    Simons Hook helps children recognize that they
    have choices. This approach is unique in that it
    teaches children to focus on their own actions
    rather than the teases of the other person.
  • Types of bullying addressed verbal and relational

29
Lesson Plan Key Points (Continued)
  • Lesson
  • We have been talking about teasing. Today we are
    going to hear a story about a little boy named
    Simon who is teased because he has a bad hair
    day.

30
Lesson Plan Key Points (Continued)
  • Questions To Ask Before Reading
  • 1.) What do you think it means to have a bad hair
    day?
  • 2.) Have you ever had a bad hair day?
  • 3.) Were you teased about it?

31
Lesson Plan Key Points (Continued)
  • Questions To Ask After Reading
  • 1.) What did you learn from the story?
  • 2.) Why was Simon having a bad hair day?
  • 3.) How did his friend react when Simon fell?

32
Lesson Plan Key Points (Continued)
  • Activities
  • 1.) Use teasing cards to role play what to do
    when someone teases you.
  • 2.) Bullying stories-Have children write bullying
    stories. Share the stories in pairs. Discuss how
    these stories made the other children feel and
    some solutions they could use.

33
Strategies and Motivation For Parents
  • BULLYING Tips for Parents
  • Look for the signs Keep an eye out for
    reluctance to go to school silence about whats
    happening at school frequently lost objects or
    possessions a frequent "everybodys picking on
    me" attitude low self-esteem.
  • Ask open-ended questions Show interest by asking
    questions less likely to be answered with a brief
    yes or no. Dont just ask, "How was your day?"
    Try asking, "What kinds of things did you do at
    recess today?" or "What happened at lunchtime
    today?"
  • Share your experiences Tell your child about
    your own childhood experiences with being teased
    or bullied. Talk about how it made you feel and
    how you handled it.

34
Strategies and Motivation For Parents(Continued)
  • BULLYING Tips for Parents
  • Respect where the child is Parents often want to
    act immediately by calling the teacher or a
    school administrator. This can sometimes make the
    situation more difficult for the child who is
    being teased or bullied. If your child asks you
    not to do anything about it, try to respect this
    wish and work instead on making her feel
    empowered enough to try handling the situation on
    her own.
  • Try role-playing Reenact the bullying or teasing
    and help your child practice non-aggressive ways
    to handle it. Brainstorm about witty or humorous
    comebacks. Teach your child preventative tactics
    such as reporting aggressive, abusive behavior
    and staying near friends or adult supervisors.

35
Strategies and Motivation For Parents
  • If you suspect your child is the aggressor
  • Be a good role model Be aware of your own
    aggressive behavior and be a positive role model.
    Watch the fights over parking spaces at the
    grocery store and keep a handle on your
    aggression at sporting events.
  • Reevaluate discipline techniques Children who
    are bullies require discipline that is
    non-violent and logically handed out. As with
    any child, never discipline out of anger.
  • Identify the triggers Know what pushes your
    childs buttons and when he is most likely to
    become aggressive. Role play and suggest ways
    your child can respond to these situations
    assertively, not aggressively. Validate and
    reward assertive versus aggressive behavior.
  • Suggest ways to join in with others Provide
    opportunities for your child to be of service to
    others -- reading to a younger child, helping out
    at a soup kitchen, making cards for nursing home
    residents. These activities can help your child
    feel better about herself, making her less likely
    to bully.
  • Above all, parents should know that the old
    "sticks and stones" adage doesnt tell the whole
    truth. Words may not break bones, but they can
    break a childs spirit and self-esteem.

36
Strategies and Motivation For Students
  • BULLYING Tips for Students
  • If you are being bullied
  • Reach Out
  • Tell an adult. Sometimes you may have to tell
    more than one trusted adult.
  • Ask your friends to help you. There is safety in
    numbers.
  • Practice what to say the next time you're bullied
    with your parents, teachers or friends.
  • Be Cool in the Moment
  • Stay calm and confident. Don't show the bully
    that you're sad or mad.
  • Ignore the bully and walk away.
  • Remember Fighting back can make bullying worse.
  • Change the School Community
  • Work with others to stop bully behavior your
    whole school will benefit.
  • Remember A lot of kids have to cope with
    bullying. You are not alone. No one deserves to
    be bullied.

37
Strategies and Motivation For Students(Continued)
  • BULLYING Tips for Students
  • If you witness bullying
  • Interrupt It
  • Stand next to, or speak up for the person being
    bullied.
  • Ask the bully to stop.
  • Comfort the person being bullied and offer
    friendship.
  • Get Help
  • Walk away and get help.
  • Find an adult who can intervene.

38
Strategies and Motivation For Students(Continued)
  • BULLYING Tips for Students
  • If you are the bully
  • Make a Commitment to Change
  • Talk to an adult, like a teacher or parent, about
    how to get along with others.
  • Ask a friend to help you stop your bully
    behavior.
  • Apologize to the kids you have bullied.
  • Focus on Empathy and Responsibility
  • Think about what it feels like to be bullied --
    would you want to be treated that way?
  • Before you speak, think about whether your words
    will help or hurt another student.
  • Change Your Behavior
  • Resist peer pressure to bully.
  • If you start to bully, walk away and find
    something else to do.
  • Remember You don't have to like everyone around
    you, but you have to treat everyone with respect.

39
Strategies and Motivation For Teachers
  • Bullying Guidelines for Teachers
  • THE DO's
  • Stop the bullying immediately. Stand between the
    bullied student and the bully(ies), blocking eye
    contact. Don't send any bystanders away. To avoid
    escalating the tension, wait until later to sort
    out the facts. Talk to the parties involved
    separately once they are calm.
  • Refer to school rules regarding bullying. Speak
    in a matter-of-fact tone of voice to describe
    what you heard or saw. Let all students know
    bullying is always unacceptable.
  • Support the bullied child. Do this in a way that
    allows him or her dignity and to feel safe from
    retaliation. Make a point to see the child later
    in private if he or she is upset. Increase
    supervision to assure bullying is not repeated.
  • Offer guidance to bystanders. Let them know how
    they might appropriately intervene or get help
    next time. Tell them you noticed their inaction
    or that you're pleased with the way they tried to
    help.

40
Strategies and Motivation For Teachers(Continued)
  • Bullying Guidelines for Teachers
  • THE DOS
  • Impose immediate consequences. Wait until all
    parties have calmed down. Do not require that
    students apologize or make amends that may be
    insincere. The consequences should be logical and
    connected to the offense. A first step could be
    taking away social privileges i.e. recess or
    lunch in the cafeteria.
  • Notify colleagues and parents. Let the bully
    know he or she is being watched.
  • Follow up and intervene as necessary. Support
    the bullied child and the bully, enabling them to
    vent feelings and recognize their own behavior.
    The bully may need to learn new methods of using
    his or her power and influence in the classroom.

41
Strategies and Motivation For Teachers
  • THE DON'Ts
  • Do not confuse bullying with conflict. Bullying
    is a form of victimization, and addressing it as
    a "conflict" downplays the negative behavior and
    the seriousness of the effects. Educators should
    strive to send the message that "no one deserves
    to be bullied," and to let the bully know the
    behavior is wholly inappropriate.
  • Do not use peer mediation. It can be very
    upsetting for a child who has been bullied to
    face his or her tormentor in mediation. Giving
    both parties an equal voice can empower the bully
    and make the bullied student feel worse. In
    addition, there is no evidence that peer
    mediation is effective in stopping bullying.
  • Do not use group treatment for bullies. Some
    schools use therapeutic strategies such as anger
    management, skill-building, empathy-building and
    self-esteem building to reach the bully. In
    practice, group members can actually reinforce
    each others' bullying and antisocial behavior.
  • Adapted from "Misdirections in Bullying
    Prevention and Intervention," and other tip
    sheets by Stop Bullying Now!, a website dedicated
    to helping youth "take a stand" and "lend a
    hand."

42
Warning Signs That Teachers Should Look For In
Their Students
  • Your student may be bullied if he or she
  • leaves school with torn, damaged or missing
    clothing, books or other belongings
  • has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches
  • has few, if any, friends with whom to spend time

  • seems afraid to be in school, leave school, ride
    the school bus, or take part in organized
    activities with peers
  • has lost interest in school work or suddenly
    begins to perform poorly
  • appears sad, moody, teary or depressed
  • complains frequently of headaches, stomach aches,
    or other physical ailments or
  • avoids the cafeteria and/or doesn't eat.

43
How will you prevent bullying in your classroom?
44
Scenario 1
  • The students constantly whisper and chuckle at a
    student with a lisp. Your student rarely
    participates due to the fear of being teased.
    Youve talked to the bullies individually, but
    being in a group fuels their taunting. What is
    your next step?
  • Address the class and acknowledge the problem.

45
Scenario 2
  • A loner student in your class is often the victim
    of bullying. He doesnt have any friends and he
    seems depressed and detached from school work.
    What could you do to help this student?
  • Create opportunities for building friendships.
    Having friends is one of the best prevention
    tactics from bullying.

46
Scenario 3
  • A child in your class has been labeled the class
    bully. The student has no friends and is in
    trouble often for lashing out at other students.
    Repetitive punishments and discipline tactics are
    not resulting in a change in behavior. What can
    you do to help this student?
  • Try positive reinforcement when the child does
    something good. Try to have a daily dialogue
    with the child.

47
Scenario 4
  • During recess, a student approaches you and tells
    you a bully pushed a smaller student and stole
    the students basketball. You handle the
    situation with the bully. What should you say to
    the student who brought it to your attention?
  • Acknowledge their good deed. Make sure your
    children know the difference between tattling and
    helping another student in need.
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