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Uncivil behaviors are characteristically rude an

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Title: Uncivil behaviors are characteristically rude an


1
Civility in the Workplace
  • Kirsten W. Schwehm, PhD
  • University Ombudsperson

2
What is Workplace Incivility?
  • Behaviors with ambiguous intent to harm the
    target, in violation of workplace norms for
    mutual respect.
  • Uncivil behaviors are characteristically rude and
    discourteous, displaying a lack of regard for
    others

3
Why should you care about civility?
4
The Incivility Continuum
  • Negative Behavior
  • Rude comments
  • Insensitive actions
  • Unintentional slights
  • Complaining
  • Gossip/rumors
  • Cultural bias
  • Crude jokes
  • Profanity
  • Verbal Aggression
  • Yelling / loud voice
  • Belittling comments
  • Intimidation / threats
  • Discriminatory comments
  • Cursing at someone
  • Humiliation
  • Physical/Sexual Aggression
  • Assault / Battery
  • Throwing objects
  • Violent outbursts (e.g., hitting the
    wall)
  • Inappropriate touching
  • Harrassment

5
Why Choose to be Civil?
  • One person can have a positive impact on the work
    environment
  • Improved Morale
  • Improved Productivity
  • Improved Teamwork
  • Being nice feels good
  • 83 of workers report that it is very important
    to work in a civil environment (Baltimore
    Workplace Study, 2003)

6
The Incivility Spiral (adapted from Andersson
Pearson, 1999)
An eye for an eye makes the whole world
blind --Mahatma Gandhi
7
Contributors to Incivility
  • Long hours / overwork
  • Hot temperament
  • Workplace stress
  • Inflexibility
  • Passive aggression
  • Hurt feelings
  • Intolerance of individual differences
  • Being in a protected position or position of
    authority

8
The Costs of Incivility
  • Lost work time and productivity
  • Lost employees / high turnover
  • Decrease in feelings of teamwork
  • Work avoidance
  • Lowered job motivation
  • Health costs due to stress
  • Legal costs due to litigation
  • Incivility to customers / clients

9
Human Needs Affecting Interpersonal Interactions
  • Power
  • Approval
  • Inclusion
  • Justice
  • Identity

10
Communicating Civility
  • Remember pleasantries
  • No interrupting
  • Be open-minded
  • Say what you mean
  • Be aware of your tone and volume
  • Dont argue for the sake of arguing / PICK YOUR
    BATTLES
  • Be respectful, even in disagreement

11
Communicating Civility (cont.)
  • Address conflicts in private when possible
  • Be aware of your own defensiveness
  • Depersonalize your comments
  • Avoid accusations / ask questions instead
  • Allow others to respond and give them your
    attention
  • Consider that you could be wrong
  • Use active listening skills

12
Watch Your Language, Young Lady!
13
Words that Promote Conflict
  • You must
  • You lied to me
  • This is so typical of you
  • You always / you never
  • The problem is
  • If you dont do this, then
  • Youll never change
  • Youre being hysterical

14
The Iceberg of Conflict
15
Questions to Take You Below the Surface
  • Can you tell me what bothered you about what I
    did?
  • What is the most important thing to you in
    solving this problem?
  • Would you be willing to start again right now and
    do it differently?
  • What would it take for you to let go of this
    conflict and feel that the issue has been
    completely resolved?

16
The Art of Active Listening
  • Listen to your co-workers with the same basic
    courtesies you extend to customers
  • No interrupting
  • Reflect back understanding of views
  • Ask clarifying questions
  • Really listen, dont prepare your rebuttal until
    you have HEARD the other person
  • Use of I statements

17
Clearing the A-I-R
From Workplace Wars
18
Civility in Emails
  • Dont ignore emails
  • Is your point better communicated in person?
  • Have a trusted colleague review before sending
  • Keep emails to the point
  • Dont forget pleasantries
  • Be aware of tone

19
Civil Behavior
  • Be on time for meetings
  • Do not do unrelated work in meetings
  • Watch your body language
  • Apologize when you are in the wrong
  • Respect co-workers stuff (e.g., food in the
    refrigerator)
  • Positive reinforcement

20
Responding to Incivility
  • Have healthy boundaries
  • Avoid escalation
  • Stay away from the low road
  • Vent your frustration

21
Dealing with Bullies
  • Approach bully, then next line supervisor if
    necessary
  • Document and seek assistance from leadership
    early
  • Leaders must take bullying seriously and
    intervene

Source Bullying at Work Report (2005) at
www.cipd.co.uk
22
A Culture of Civility
  • Have a cooperative approach
  • Be aware of underlying needs
  • Recognize individual differences
  • Be open to adapting position
  • Leaders model civility for others
  • Clearly define expectations for how employees
    treat each other
  • Reward civil behavior
  • Encourage stress management

23
The Caveats
  • Being civil does not mean
  • Rolling over and playing dead
  • Being someone you are not
  • Avoiding conflict when it is necessary
  • Pretending to be nice, then stabbing someone in
    the back
  • Giving up your rights to file complaints or seek
    assistance in dealing with difficult people at
    work

24
Final Thoughts
  • Dont wait for someone to be nice to you, and
    avoid keeping score
  • Dont be afraid to put yourself in Time Out, so
    you can cool off before expressing yourself
  • Consider letting some things slide, especially
    slights that you know to be unintentional

You must be the change you want to see in
the world --Mahatma Gandhi
25
Helpful References
  • Choosing Civility The Twenty-Five Rules of
    Considerate Conduct (2002) by P.M. Forni
  • Conflict Resolution (2001) by Daniel Dana
  • People Styles at Work (1996) by Robert Bolton
    Dorothy Grover Bolton
  • Resolving Conflicts at Work (2005) by Kenneth
    Cloke Joan Goldsmith
  • Rude Awakenings Overcoming the Civility Crisis
    in the Workplace (2002) by Giovinella Gonthier
  • Workplace Wars and How to End Them (1994) by
    Kenneth Kaye
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