People Styles at Work Making Bad Relationships Good and Good Relationships Better

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People Styles at Work Making Bad Relationships
Good and Good Relationships Better
September 28, 2004

• FacilitatorJohn Kosky, SPHR, CCP
• ModeratorThomas A. George, Jr., PHR
• Office of Human Resources

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Summary You Will Be Able To

• Understand how your style of working comes across
  to other people
• Read other peoples behavior so you will know
  the best way to work with them
• Find common ground with people while maintaining
  your individuality and integrity
• Temporarily adjust your behavior in small ways
  that dramatically improve the results with
  different working styles
• Relate effectivelyno matter how others react to
  the your behavior

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Getting to Know One Another

• Who are you?
• Where do you work?
• What do you do?

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Module 1

• Understanding People

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No Wonder We Have People Problems!

• 75 of the population is significantly different
  that you
• Think differently
• Decide differently
• Work at a different pace
• Manage stress differently
• Behaviorally speaking, you are in the minority

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People Are Predictable!

• What is a Style?
• Pattern of assertive and responsive behavior
• There are three ingredients that comprise style
• 1) Behavior
• 2) Patterns
• 3) Habits

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Behavior

• What a person does
• The outer expression of a persons life
• Body language
• Vocal variety (pitch, rate and tone)
• Task oriented or People oriented?
• Behavior is a component of personality
• Empirical what you see
• This model is based on observing behavior

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Patterns

• Collection of behaviors
• Group of traits that form a coherent, integrated
  whole
• Thematic consistency

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Habits

• Style determined by habitual behavior
• Frequently repeated in a given situation
• Becomes second nature
• Feels natural to us
• Consistent from one situation to another

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Predicting Probable Behavior

• There are no certainties only probabilities
• Avoid labeling
• Other factors are
• Generational
• Socio-economic
• Gender

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Whats Your Style?

• Model is designed with how other people see you
• There are no good or bad styles
• Diversity in style is a good thing

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Lets Take The Behavioral Inventory

• Choose the statement you think more closely
  describes how others perceive your behavior
• Record your answer on how you are perceived by
  others
• We will help you decipher your style later

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Two Keys to Understanding People
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Two Dimensions of Behavior

• There are two dimensions of behavior that are
  relevant to the People Styles model
• Assertiveness
• Responsiveness

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Assertiveness
Lets Define

• The degree to which ones behaviors are seen by
  others as being forceful or directive
• Note -- Assertive is not synonymous with
  aggressive

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Responsiveness

• Lets Define
• The degree by which one is seen
• by others as showing his or her emotions or
  demonstrating awareness of the feelings of others

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Characteristics

• Demonstrates less energy
• Less intense eye contact
• Speaks softly
• Slower to address problems
• Risk-averse or cautious
• Less confrontational

• Less disclosing of feelings
• Appears more reserved
• More task-oriented
• Less adept at small-talk
• Use more facts and logic
• More structured use of time

• Exude more energy
• Address problems quicker
• Risk-taker
• More confrontational
• Demonstrate anger quicker
• Speaks loud and more often

• Appears more friendly
• Comfortable with small talk
• Uses more anecdotes stories
• Dresses more casually
• Prefers working with people
• Expresses feelings openly

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The Social Style Grid
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The Four Paths to Success

• There are four styles in this model
• Analyticals
• Drivers
• Expressives
• Amiables

A
B
C
D
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Four Paths to Success

• Key Points to Remember
• You cant change your dominant style
• You are far more than your style
• You are different from others in your style
• Your acceptance of each style enables you to make
  this model work for you VERSUS against you

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Interpreting the Inventory

• Now You Are Aware of Your Style As You See It

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The Analytical

• Most perfectionist and critical style
• Sticklers for detail
• Want things to be done right!
• Sets very high standards
• Systematic and well-organized
• The more data and facts, the better
• Risk-averse
• Comfortable in solitude
• Quiet, reserved and low-key
• Indirect when stating opinions

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The Amiable

• Team Player
• Doesnt seek spotlight
• Generous with their time
• Quiet, empathetic and friendly
• Confidants
• Very skilled maintainers
• Patient but slow to forget
• Risk-averse
• Natural peacemakers
• Focused on maintaining relationships with people
• Indirect when stating opinions

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The Expressive

• Most flamboyant and outgoing
• Energetic always on the go
• Dreamers outside of the box
• Spontaneous
• Emotional roller coaster
• Playful and fun-loving
• Risk-taker
• Tend to think out loud
• Free and easy approach to time
• Skilled procrastinators
• Direct when stating opinions

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The Driver

• Very results-focused
• Get it Done!
• Tends to forego the long-term and quality
• Indecision is a turn off
• More likely to change their minds
• Excel at time management
• Risk-taker
• Body language purposeful
• Can intimidate less assertive people
• Direct when stating opinions

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Styles Under Stress

• What is a Backup Style?

In response to intense stress, behavior becomes
more extreme and inflexible. This style is what
we revert to in periods of high stress
People tend to shift styles when pressured
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Expressive in Backup Attacking

• Focus frustrations on other people
• Usually in the form of loud and loaded personal
  attacks
• Especially harmful to Amiables and Analyticals

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Drivers in Backup Autocratic

• Become very controlling
• Try to impose thoughts and plans on others
• Seem unbending to any ideas but their own

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Amiables in Backup Acquiescing

• Often difficult to know when this style is in
  backup
• Normal avoidance to conflict and appease others
  becomes amplified
• Tendency to go overboard
• Respond with compliance
• Takes them longer to reach backup

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Analyticals in Backup Avoiding

• Tries to avoid interpersonal tension
• Becomes even more socially and emotionally
  withdrawn
• Manufactures reasons to avoid contact with people

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When You Are in Backup

• 1) Eliminate as much stress as you can
• Do stress-reducing activities such as walking,
  listening to music, etc.
• Temporarily moderate or eliminate stressors by
  cutting back on your schedule or avoiding the
  stressors
• Change the way you think about things. Work on
  changing your reaction to stressors

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When You Are in Backup

• Limit interpersonal damage
• Refrain from making decisions while in backup

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When Others Are in Backup

• Expect that people wont always be at their best
• Detect when the other person is in backup
• Avoid starting a backup cycle
• Dont attempt to intervene
• If at all possible, avoid doing business with
  people in backup

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Break Time!
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Module 2The Key to Productive Relationships
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What Style Flex Is

• Tailoring your behavior so the way you work fits
  better with the other persons style
• Changing Your Behavior
• Adjusting a Few Behaviors
• Done Only at Key Times

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What Style Flex Is Not

• Manipulation
• More likely to work against you
• To manipulate others is to harm yourself
• Is unethical
• Conformity
• Not picking someone elses views
• Can cause harm in long-term relationships
• Theory of the Yes Man

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How to Identify a Persons Style

• Four Step Process
• You Should
• Put aside tendency to read into behavior
• Observe the Levels of Assertiveness
• Observe the Levels of Responsiveness

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Four Steps to A Better Relationship

• Four Step Process
• Identify
• Plan
• Implement
• Evaluate

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Four Step Process

• Identify
• Note your own style
• Identify the other persons style
• Plan
• Note style differences
• Identify behaviors that you can change
• Implement
• Interacting with the other person

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Four Step Process

• Evaluate
• After action critique
• Did your style flex work?
• What can you do better next time?
• Lets Take A Look!
• Lets Try It!

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Exercise

• Select a partner near you, preferably someone you
  do not know well
• Using the Flex Plan worksheet, assist each other
  in
• Developing a plan to interact with a CCSU
  employee of your choice
• Validate each others style

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When to Flex Your Style

• Not all the time temporarily adjust a few
  behaviors at key times
• Excessive adaptability is dangerous and can lead
  to mistrust and create suspicion
• Open in parallel
• Just-in-time
• When something important is at stake

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Levels of Assertiveness
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Levels of Responsiveness
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Too Much of a Good Thing

• Discussion
• What do you think are the strengths of each
  style?
• Analyticals
• Amiables
• Expressives
• Drivers
• When style is extremely dominating, how does that
  come across to people?

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Strengths and Antidotes
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Antidotes
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Methods for Style Flexing
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For Amiables
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For Amiables
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For Expressives
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For Expressives
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For Drivers

• Slow your pace talk less and slower
• Avoid unnecessary tight deadlines dont rush
• Reflect back to the speaker the gist of what you
  hear
• Provide pauses during conversation invite them
  to speak
• Dont interrupt or finish their sentences
• Be prepared to listen to more than you want to
  know
• Give a sound rationale for narrowing the options
• Go into considerable detail give rationale for
  options
• Mention to pros cons of the proposal that you
  put forward
• Be prepared and go into great detail

• Dont seem aloof be more casual and informal
  than usual
• Highlight recommendations of others dont overdo
  facts Talk about things that are not task-related
• Be aware of acknowledge what the Expressive are
  feeling
• Dont overreact to the Expressives highs and
  lows
• Demonstrate more enthusiasm and show more
  feelings Try to support their vision steer clear
  of the nitty-gritty
• Be tactful when contradicting spend time in
  mutual exploration
• Cater to the physical restlessness Let them have
  spotlight

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For Drivers
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For Analyticals
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For Analyticals
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The Bigger Picture

• Make note of style composition of
• Work units or departments
• Project teams
• Organizations

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Summary Today, You Learned

• How to understand how your preferred style of
  working comes across to other people
• How toread other peoples behavior so you will
  know the best way to work with them
• How to find common ground with people while
  maintaining your individuality and integrity
• How to adjust your behavior in small ways that
  dramatically improve the results with different
  working styles
• How to relate effectivelyno matter how others
  react to the participants behavior

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Questions?
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Resources

• People Styles at Work, written by Robert and
  Dorothy Grover Bolton
• American Management Association (1996)ISBN
  0-8144-7723-2