Counseling and Life Skills

1
Counseling and Life Skills

• Youthbuild Lake County December 20, 2006
• Facilitator Marcia Moody, Ph.D. Youthbuild USA

2
The Intersection of Counseling, Career
Development/Job Readiness, and Life Skills

• 930 AM - 945 AM Curriculum Review
• 945 AM -1015 AM Communication Skills
  (Activities)
• ? Listening
• ? Giving and Receiving Feedback
• 1015 AM - 1030 AM Group Dynamics/Group
  Facilitation Skills
• ? Group Stages/Team Building
• ? Therapeutic Factors (Counseling Groups)
• 1030 AM - Noon Race Relations and Group Dynamics
  ? Staff Development Video Color of Fear
• Noon - 100 PM Lunch/Video Discussion and
  Development of Life Skills Curriculum
• 100 PM - 200 PM Mock Group Experience
  (Activity)
• 200 PM - 230 PM Closure and Wrap-up

3
Common Roadblocks to Communication (see handout)

• Probing, Questioning, Interrogating
• Ordering, Directing, Demanding
• Moralizing, Preaching, Obliging
• Advising, Giving Suggestions or Solutions
• Judging, Criticizing, Disagreeing, Blaming
• Interpreting, Analyzing, Diagnosing
• Reassuring, Sympathizing
• Persuading with Logic, Arguing, Lecturing
• Warning, Threatening

4
Non-Verbal Communication Stoppers (see handout)

• Poor Eye Contact
• Closed Posture
• Fidget, Wiggle, Sigh
• Look at Your Watch
• Yawn, Have Bored, Blank Expression
• Whisper or Share a Glance
• Attend to an Intruder
• Avoid Feedback (dont smile, nod, or speak)

5
Attending Skills (see handout)

• Bodily face the person
• Maintain eye contact
• Maintain open posture
• Lean forward
• Smile, relaxed expression
• Give feedback

6
Listening Skills

• Tips for being a good listener
• Give your full attention on the person who is
  speaking.
• Make sure your mind is focused, It can be easy to
  let your mind wander if you think you know what
  the person is going to say next, but you might be
  wrong! If you feel your mind wandering, change
  the position of your body and try to concentrate
  on the speaker's words.
• Let the speaker finish before you begin to talk.
  Speakers appreciate having the chance to say
  everything they would like to say without being
  interrupted. When you interrupt, it looks like
  you aren't listening, even if you really are.

7
Listening Skills (cont)

• Let yourself finish listening before you begin to
  speak! You can't really listen if you are busy
  thinking about what you want say next.
• Listen for main ideas. The main ideas are the
  most important points the speaker wants to get
  across. They may be mentioned at the start or end
  of a talk, and repeated a number of times. Pay
  special attention to statements that begin with
  phrases such as "My point is..." or "The thing to
  remember is..."
• Ask questions. If you are not sure you understand
  what the speaker has said, just ask. It is a good
  idea to repeat in your own words what the speaker
  said so that you can be sure your understanding
  is correct.

8
Active Listening

• Attending, acknowledging - providing verbal or
  non- verbal awareness of the other, i.e., eye
  contact
• 2. Restating, paraphrasing - responding to
  person's basic verbal message
• 3. Reflecting - reflecting feelings,
  experiences, or content that has been heard or
  perceived through cues
• 4. Interpreting - offering a tentative
  interpretation about the other's feelings,
  desires, or meanings
• 5. Summarizing, synthesizing - bringing together
  in some way feelings and experiences providing a
  focus

9
Active Listening (cont)

• 6. Probing - questioning in a supportive way that
  requests more information or that attempts to
  clear up confusions
• 7. Giving feedback - sharing perceptions of the
  other's ideas or feelings disclosing relevant
  personal information
• 8. Supporting - showing warmth and caring in
  one's own individual way
• 9. Checking perceptions - finding out if
  interpretations and perceptions are valid and
  accurate
• 10. Being quiet - giving the other time to think
  as well as to talk

10
Giving Feedback

• Basic Guidelines for Giving Feedback
• Be descriptive of behavior rather than evaluative
  of the person
• Be specific rather than general
• Present observations rather than assumptions
• Share ideas and information rather than giving
  advice
• Present your ideas as alternatives to consider
  rather than as final solutions

11
Feedback Guidelines (cont)

• 6. Present only information that is of value to
  the recipient rather than simply letting off
  steam
• 7. We also have the responsibility to ask for
  feedback
• 8. Direct feedback toward behavior the receiver
  can do something about
• 9. Generally, feedback is most useful at the
  earliest opportunity after the given behavior
• 10. Feedback needs to be checked to insure clear
  communication.

12
Receiving Feedback

• Listen-You cant process and evaluate the
  information being shared if you have closed your
  mind
• Suspend judgment-Try not to be defensive
• Let the person finish-Dont jump in, wait until
  the end so that you have the complete picture

13
Receiving Feedback (cont)

• 4. Paraphrase-Repeat what you think you have
  heard to ensure you understand what has been said
• 5. Prompt specifics-Not all feedback will be
  shared well, ask for examples of the behavior in
  question
• 6. Avoid arguing, denting, justifying, or
  minimzing. It is the persons point of view
  decide what you want to do with the information

14
The Awareness Wheel (see handout)

• Sensing-what you actually see, hear, smell, or
  fell
• Doing-what you actually do about your intentions
• 3. Your intentions only-what you would like to
  have happen
• 4. Your emotions only-what you feel in reaction
  to your thoughts
• 5. Your thoughts only-what you assume, expect,
  believe or conclude about your perceptions

15
Group Dynamics

• Group dynamics is the field of study within the
  social sciences that focuses on the nature of
  groups. Urges to belong or to identify may make
  for distinctly different attitudes (recognized or
  unrecognized) than in one-on-one interaction, and
  the influence of a group may rapidly become
  strong, influencing or overwhelming individual
  proclivities and actions. The group dynamics may
  also include changes in behaviour of a person
  when he is represented before a group, the
  behavioural pattern of a person vis-a-vis group.
• -From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

16
Group Stages

• Forming (pretending to get on or get along with
  others)
• Storming (letting down the politeness barrier and
  trying to get down to the issues even if tempers
  flare up )
• Norming (getting used to each other and
  developing trust and productivity)
• Performing (working in a group to a common goal
  on a highly efficient and cooperative basis).
• -From Bruce Tuckman (1965)

17
Yaloms Therapeutic Factors

• 1. Installation of Hope
• 2. Universality
• 3. Imparting Information
• 4. Altruism
• 5. The Corrective Recapitulation of the
  Primary Family Group
• 6. Development of Socializing Techniques
• 7. Imitative Behavior
• 8. Interpersonal Learning
• 9. Group Cohesiveness
• 10. Catharsis
• Existential Factors
• -Yalom (1995)

18
Development of Life Skills Curriculum Sample
Topics

• Communication Skills
• Housing and Money Management
• Self-Care (health, stress management)
• Social Relationships
• Work Life
• Time Management
• Sex and Sexuality
• Substance Use, Abuse, and Addiction
• Mental Health Issues (e.g., depression, anxiety)

19
Strategies for Teaching Life Skills

• Use educational videos (Dream Worlds II)
• Use guest speakers
• Include fun icebreakers and teambuilding
  activities
• Look for curriculum appropriate for at-risk
  youth (Ill mail some samples)
• Consider experiential activities like a trip to
  a prison
• Use team building and group work to identify
  relevant topics