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From the creator of the wildly popular webcomic xkcd hilarious and informative answers to important questions you probably never thought to ask Millions of people visit xkcd com each week to read Randall Munroe s iconic webcomic His stick-figure drawings about science technology language and love have a large and passionate following Fans of xkcd ask Munroe a lot of strange questions What if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90 percent the speed of light How fast can you hit a speed bump while driving and live If there was a robot apocalypse how long would humanity last In pursuit of answers Munroe runs computer simulations pores over stacks of declassified military research memos solves differential equations and consults with nuclear reactor operators His responses are masterpieces of clarity and hilarity complemented by signature xkcd comics They often predict the complete annihilation of humankind or at least a really big explosion The book features new and never-before-answered questions along with updated and expanded versions of the most popular answers from the xkcd website What If will be required reading for xkcd fans and anyone who loves to ponder the hypothetical
Following up the phenomenal success of her headline-making New York Times bestseller I Hate Everyone Starting With Me the unstoppable Joan Rivers is at it again When her daughter Melissa gives her a diary for Christmas at first Joan is horrified who the hell does Melissa think she is That fat pig Bridget Jones But as Joan being both beautiful and introspective begins to record her day-to-day musings she realizes she has a lot to say About everything And everyone God help them The result A no-holds-barred delightfully vicious and always hilarious look at the everyday life of the ultimate diva Follow Joan on a family vacation in Mexico and on trips between New York and Los Angeles where she mingles with the stars never missing a beat as she delivers blistering critiques on current events and excoriating insights about life pop culture and celebrities from A to D list all in her relentlessly funny signature style This is the Diary of a Mad Diva For the first time in a century a diary by someone that s actually worth reading
Ray Bradbury s internationally acclaimed novel Fahrenheit 451 is a masterwork of twentieth-century literature set in a bleak dystopian future Guy Montag is a fireman In his world where television rules and literature is on the brink of extinction firemen start fires rather than put them out His job is to destroy the most illegal of commodities the printed book along with the houses in which they are hidden Montag never questions the destruction and ruin his actions produce returning each day to his bland life and wife Mildred who spends all day with her television family But then he meets an eccentric young neighbor Clarisse who introduces him to a past where people didn t live in fear and to a present where one sees the world through the ideas in books instead of the mindless chatter of television When Mildred attempts suicide and Clarisse suddenly disappears Montag begins to question everything he has ever known He starts hiding books in his home and when his pilfering is discovered the fireman has to run for his life
For readers of Nora Ephron Tina Fey and David Sedaris this hilarious poignant and extremely frank collection of personal essays confirms Lena Dunham the acclaimed creator producer and star of HBO s Girls as one of the brightest and most original writers working today If I could take what I ve learned and make one menial job easier for you or prevent you from having the kind of sex where you feel you must keep your sneakers on in case you want to run away during the act then every misstep of mine was worthwhile I m already predicting my future shame at thinking I had anything to offer you but also my future glory in having stopped you from trying an expensive juice cleanse or thinking that it was your fault when the person you are dating suddenly backs away intimidated by the clarity of your personal mission here on earth No I am not a sexpert a psychologist or a dietician I am not a mother of three or the owner of a successful hosiery franchise But I am a girl with a keen interest in having it all and what follows are hopeful dispatches from the frontlines of that struggle Advance praise for Not That Kind of Girl It s not Lena Dunham s candor that makes me gasp Rather it s her writing which is full of surprises where you least... expect them This is a fine subversive book David Sedaris Always funny sometimes wrenching these essays are a testament to the creative wonder that is Lena Dunham Judy Blume Dunham s writing is just as smart honest sophisticated dangerous and charming as her work on Girls Its essential quality is a kind of joyful super-awareness of herself the world the human Reading her makes you glad to be in the world and glad that she s in it with you George Saunders Very few women have become famous for being who they actually are nuanced and imperfect When honesty happens it s usually couched in self-ridicule or self-help Dunham doesn t apologize like that she simply tells her story as if it might be interesting The result is shocking and radical because it is utterly familiar Not That Kind of Girl is hilarious artful and staggeringly intimate I read it shivering with recognition Miranda Julymore
View our feature on George Orwell s 1984 Written in 1948 1984 was George Orwell s chilling prophecy about the future And while 1984 has come and gone Orwell s narrative is timelier than ever 1984 presents a startling and haunting vision of the world so powerful that it is completely convincing from start to finish No one can deny the power of this novel its hold on the imaginations of multiple generations of readers or the resiliency of its admonitions a legacy that seems only to grow with the passage of time
Revisit Orwell s classic satire Animal Farm As ferociously fresh as it was more than a half century ago this remarkable allegory of a downtrodden society of overworked mistreated animals and their quest to create a paradise of progress justice and equality is one of the most scathing satires ever published As readers witness the rise and bloody fall of the revolutionary animals they begin to recognize the seeds of totalitarianism in the most idealistic organization and in the most charismatic leaders the souls of the cruelest oppressors
Nothing has driven home a certain truth about my generation which is approaching the apex of its childbearing years quite like this --The New Yorker A parenting zeitgeist --Washington Post A hilarious take on that age-old problem getting the beloved child to go to sleep --National Public Radio A new Bible for weary parents --New York Times Resonates powerfully with almost everyone --Boston Globe Go the F to Sleep challenges stereotypes opens up prototypes and acknowledges that shared sense of failure that comes to all parents who weary of ever getting their darling s to sleep and briefly resuming the illusion of a life of their own --Midwest Book ReviewGo the F to Sleep is a bedtime book for parents who live in the real world where a few snoozing kitties and cutesy rhymes don t always send a toddler sailing blissfully off to dreamland Profane affectionate and radically honest California Book Award-winning author Adam Mansbach s verses perfectly capture the familiar--and unspoken--tribulations of putting your little angel down for the night In the process they open up a conversation about parenting granting us permission to admit our frustrations and laugh at their absurdity With illustrations by Ricardo Cortes Go the F to Sleep... is beautiful subversive and pants-wettingly funny--a book for parents new old and expectant You probably should not read it to your children Seriously Just Go to Sleep a children s book inspired by Go the F to Sleep and appropriate for kids of all ages is forthcoming from Akashic Books in April 2012 and available NOW for pre-order more
NOW WITH NEW MATERIAL FOR THE PAPERBACK EDITION How do I love thee Let me count the ways Elizabeth Barrett Browning 1850 How do I hate thee How much time do you have Joan Rivers today about two-ish Joan Rivers comedienne actress jewelry monger and an award-winning international star she can sneer in eight different languages lives by the golden rule Do unto others before they do unto you and for God s sakes do it funny Her career in comedy may have begun with self-loathing but after looking at the decrepitude around her she figured Why stop here when there are so many other things to hate With all of her experiences Joan has looked down at turned away from and thrown up over a lot of hateful things deplorable places and despicable people Thank God she took notes Here uncensored and uninhibited Joan says exactly what s on her mind And HER mind is a terrible thing to waste She proudly kicks the crap out of ugly children dating rituals funerals and lousy restaurants She nails First Ladies closet cases and hypocrites to the wall She shows no mercy towards doctors and feminists and even goes after Anne Frank and Stephen Hawking Joan lets everyone including herself have it in this one hundred percent honest and unabashedly hilarious... love letter to the hater in all of us This is absolute Joan Rivers You gotta love her Even if she hates you Includes new material more
With his unmistakable rhymes and signature illustration style Dr Seuss creates a classic picture-book ode to aging in You re Only Old Once On a visit to the Golden Years Clinic on Century Square for Spleen Readjustment and Muffler Repair readers will laugh with familiar horror at the poking and prodding and testing and ogling that go hand in hand with the dreaded appellation of senior citizen Though Dr Seuss is known for his peerless work in books for children this comical look at what it s like to get older is ideal for Seuss fans of advanced years In his own words this is a book for obsolete children A perfect gift for retirement birthdays and holidays
One day sad cubicle dweller and otherwise bored New York transplant Hannah Hart decided as a joke to make a fake cooking show for her friend back in California She turned on the camera pulled out some bread and cheese and then as one does started drinking Doesn t everyone cook with a spoon in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other The video went viral and an online sensation was born My Drunk Kitchen includes recipes stories full color photos and drawings to inspire your own culinary adventures in tipsy cooking It is also a showcase for Hannah Hart s great comedic voice Hannah offers key drink recommendations cooking tips like remember to turn the oven off when you go to bed and shares never-before-seen recipes such as The Hartwich Knowledge is ingenuity Learn from the past Can Bake Inventing things is hard You don t have to start from scratch Latke Shotkas Plan ahead to avoid a night of dread Tiny Sandwiches Size doesn t matter Aim to satisfy Saltine Nachos It s not about resources It s about being resourceful This is a book for anyone who believes they have what it takes to make a souffl for the holiday party and show up the person who apparently has nothing better to do than bake things from scratch It also recommends the... drink you ll need to accompany any endeavor of this magnitude In the end My Drunk Kitchen may not be your go-to guide for your next dinner party but it will make you laugh and drink I mean think about life more